Editor's Note: This issue of Reflections is full of great ideas on how we can help ourselves through these troubling times. Alex writes about having hope and uses one of his EFT case histories to show us what to do. There's a great EFT story that really shows us just how effective EFT can be, especially when applied by a talented and caring person, who isn't even an EFT practitioner!) She uses EFT with family and friends.) David writes a book review that will be fascinating for those that love language and how to use it effectively (like Alex and I). This month Tom continues his series on dealing with emotions and he's in great form. Both Alex and I laughed out loud at his excellent wit. And, I write random thoughts about several issues, including the current state of the world and offer my suggestion for how to deal with it all. Enjoy! Hope, Perception and EFT by Dr. Alexander R. Lees Thanks largely to the world financial crisis; the very foundation of the free world seems to be shaken. This phenomenon has also attracted the self help gurus to spring forth with their promise of salvation. To be fair, some of the material is actually quite good; it's well presented, and is designed from a psychological point of view to help people weather the storm until, like all storms, it eventually blows over. Still others are simply trying to take advantage of the generated fear, and untold amounts of precious funds are flowing from the hands of decent, everyday people, just trying to get by and gain a little relief. If you are considering taking a seminar, ordering that on-line special, or the purchase of yet another book to achieve that relief, then please breathe, deeply, and ask yourself some basic questions. One question might be: Have I heard of this person before? Can I Google the subject, or the individual and check their track record? Do I know enough from the advertising to decide if this would be a good investment for me at this time? Are there less expensive ways to achieve the necessary information? And, so on. The following is a very inexpensive way (it costs nothing!) of feeling better. All buildings have a structure. One of the prerequisites is that it be built on a solid foundation. That foundation also has a "structure," in the sense it is the sum total of its component parts. In a like and similar way, our psychology has a structure, and it too, requires a solid foundation to hold it up. One of the component parts of that structure is HOPE. For instance, did you know that neuroscience has now turned its attention to studying the effects of hope on the human brain? Some of the delightful effects noted are: Hope causes the brain to release chemicals. The chemicals are associated with pain blockage and accelerated healing. Other neurochemicals (endorphins and enkephaline, for instance) enhance our mood, allowing for a feeling of lightness, and thoughts like, "I can do it!" to begin to flow. Reading positive stories and quotes are precursors to hope, and since hope is at the very foundation of the thought structure, reading or telling stories will go a long way to helping you be in that mental place most conducive to sailing the rough waters safely. Then you get to sit back one day and say, "Man, that was one helluva ride!" Now, for some quotes for you to play with; keep the ones you like, throw away any you don't and find yourself some good stories to read or tell! People who consider themselves to be victims of circumstance will remain victims unless they develop a greater vision for themselves. ----------------- Stedman Graham There is no stress in the world, only people with stressful thoughts. ----------------- Dr. Wayne Dyer In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness within you. ----------------- Dr. Deepak Chopra When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ----------------- Victor Frankel It is not the strongest of the species who survive, nor the most intelligent, but those who are the most adaptive to change. ----------------- Charles Darwin Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful, it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging, because it means things will get better. To the confident, it is inspiring, because the challenge now exists to make things better. ----------------- King Whitney, Jr. Upcoming Seminars To view details of our workshops click here EFT - The Fundamentals April 25, 2009 EFT – Intermediate Level April 4 & 5, 2009 EFT – Advanced Level May 2 & 3, 2009 EFT Practitioner NEW Workshop June 13 & 14, 2009 For details on our Certified Practitioner Program click here Granted, I like all these quotes, but I particularly like the last one, and I'll tell you why. In NLP or Behavioural Science terms, it's a beautiful reframe, a reframe on change. Simply put, one can choose to perceive change as scary, and therefore change leads to something bad. Or, we can choose to perceive change as the beginning of something better coming along. The third choice is we can perceive change as inspiration to meet the challenge, and take advantage of new opportunities, and thus be part of the movement to help make things better. As with many things in life, the way we perceive a situation is how the situation will be for us. That being the case, I would like to recommend that we all take a look at how we are perceiving the current world crisis and then make a choice. If the way we are dealing with our perception of how things are going, is not useful, or beneficial, then let's try the inspirational approach for a while and see how that works. We can all give it a try because this is one area where we do have a choice. For those readers that have "known" me for a while, also know I like to include examples, when appropriate. I just happen to have a case history that is an excellent example of perception and choice, and it will do quite nicely here. The gentleman (let's call him Frank) that entered my office was 45 years old, married with two teenage kids and after 12 years with a firm had been laid off. He sat down and said, "I need to get past the shock, this feeling of failing my family, and find something - anything - to provide an income." He then went on to say, "I have specialty skills, that's the only thing I know how to do and I'm afraid no one will hire me with the mess the economy is in right now." I replied, "That's great, we can get to work right away." Frank looked a little startled, so I explained that what he'd just said provided me with the perfect place to start. I explained the tapping procedure and that it was a good idea to deal with the negative "stuff" first, i.e., his "fear" of not finding work. I had Frank tap on his feelings of failure, desperation and fear of not finding work. After several rounds on each feeling, he was feeling lighter and more optimistic. I suggested he tap on any like and similar feelings during the next week and when I saw him again we'd add something new to help him on his way. Because of his strong focus and determination to improve his situation I knew he would do the "homework" I had assigned. Frank came in the following week and reported he felt much better and he'd tapped out a lot of the junk files from his childhood, including limitations, and he was ready for the next step. This was great news, so I explained about tapping in some positive choices (Pat Carrington's Choices Method). Then I tapped him on the following: I choose to be creative I choose to notice and take advantage of any opportunity that comes my way I choose to believe I'll find work I choose to be confident about finding work We did several rounds on each statement and I again assigned him homework - tap in the above "choices" and any new ones that came to mind. Several weeks later Frank phoned and told me the good news. "I own a $Dollar store! I did my homework and when I heard about the opportunity to own a $Dollar store, I thought 'Why not try it?' Being self employed makes me the happiest I've been in years! My wife says I look five years younger and there's food on the table. By the way, can you do anything about my daughter? She thinks everything in Daddy's store should be free for her!" After assuring him nothing works on a teenage Daddy's girl but a sigh and a "Yes dear," he said he would investigate the possibility of giving her a discount if she helped with the stock on Thursday evenings. I wished him good luck with that one, and then suggested Mom might fair better negotiating for him. All of the above reminds me of another quote I like: Things are the way they are mainly because of the way we see them. ----------------- Dr. Alexander R. Lees I also like the books this guy has written. An Amazing EFT Story Editor's Note: The following is a truly great EFT story! For reasons of confidentiality, the practitioner and the client's names will remain anonymous. The practitioner is a lovely, kind, generous and fun woman that has taken all our EFT, and some NLP, training with us. She wrote this email to Alex and I, and I have her permission to include it in our newsletter. I'd just like to make one comment about her and it's this - I admire her courage and tenacity for tackling such an issue, and proves once more that if you have good, solid training in EFT, plus a good heart and generous spirit, you can help a person even when the presented issue(s) are daunting. Congratulations to the practitioner, and Alex and I are proud to have helped her on her "people helping" journey! I've been helping a very interesting woman with EFT. I knew her before (I learned EFT) and had no inkling that her issue was so serious, but when she arrived for the tapping last November, she reverted to being two years old, and hid in my closet. She was sucking her thumb and her eyes were crossed and she didn't seem to be connected with any part of this reality. Needless to say, I was more than a bit over my head and thought maybe I would call her husband to come and get her, and see if she could come and see you. But it wasn't hard to see that she was frightened - wherever she was - and since she came to me for tapping, I assumed I had permission, so I just started on "this fear, this fear" and didn't she start to come around! Eventually, she became very lucid and told me that she had been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and had even been hospitalized. This was very surprising to me as I had known her for a few years to be a competent business owner, community worker, and the mother of two very self-confident, productive teenagers. I told her that I was not a professional and that she should go to see you. But she was very frightened of men and didn't trust many women. So we got started and I am just amazed at the progress. The mental, physical, and sexual abuse by both parents and the undermining of her own sense of what was real was very intense. I find her to be the most miraculous woman to have not only survived it, but to have been strong and creative enough to find an outlet for that terrible pain and torment in a way that caused as little negative effect as possible on others around her. And she has still found it in her heart to do so much for needy and sick people. If ever there was a candidate for sainthood, it would be her. At first she would get lost in the memories but fortunately the need to be strong for her children made the mention of them a useful tool to bring her back, so even though going back was so physically painful (one time, she even came out of it with bruises on her arms from a memory of her mother's abuse!) she insisted on keeping at it until one by one, the really, really terrible memories became neutral to her. It really seemed to work because she never felt the need to re-address an issue, except on two occasions when there were different aspects that we missed the first time. In the beginning, she would send me emails that were written with no spaces between any words and sometimes the letters were all mixed up, or no vowels, but after deciphering it I would find some gem of a clue of what to work on next. She often couldn't speak so it was useful to be able to repeat back to her what I learned in the emails. Then slowly, the emails became more legible and she was able to stay lucid during the whole tapping session. Now she emails or phones me with some comparatively minor things from time to time, and although there is likely more angst in her day than most people have, she hasn't split for weeks and weeks, which used to be a daily thing, and sometimes multiple times a day. She can see and hear clearly, she says, for the first time in her life and she just has the best sense of humour now that her guard is down. I thank you guys so much for teaching me this tool. The experience of working with this woman has been one of the most rewarding gifts of my whole life. I hope that the maudlin sound of that statement doesn't take away from how profoundly I mean it. Great Idea... This was an article from the St. Petersburg Times newspaper a short while ago. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?" The following was one of the best ideas sent in. Dear Mr. President, Patriotic retirement: There's about 40 million people over 50 in the work force; pay them $2 million severance apiece with three stipulations: They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed. They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto industry fixed. They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing crisis fixed. All National financial problems fixed!!! Jobs, auto industry, banking industry, retirement, housing... all fixed with a simple check from Uncle Sam!   Contributing Columnist Dave Marshall is retired and lives in Spain. Before his retirement he was in the corporate world in the UK, and also taught NLP (he's an NLP Master Trainer). Visit his website at www.nlpman.eu which has a ton of free information on NLP and lots of other good stuff. _______________________________________ "Clean Language" by David Marshall Editor's Note: For those of you that use EFT - you may notice that learning about the use of clean language could be very beneficial when applying EFT. I'm going to order the book! Book Review of Clean Language - Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds by Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees Have you ever wondered if there was a way to help people solve their problems without ever revealing what the problem was… just by asking questions? If you have, then maybe this is the answer for you! Clean Language was developed by David Grove, an exceptional New Zealander, who died unexpectedly last year. Its roots can be traced back to the Personal Constructs of George Kelly, to the reflecting back methods of Carl Rogers, and the original works of NLP and the development of the Milton and Meta models of language. This book, Clean Language - Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds by Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees, takes the ideas of David Grove, Penny Tompkins, James Lawley, and others working in the area of clean language and metaphor, and has produced a simple, concise and elegant method of questioning that gets behind the everyday metaphors that we all use, to discover what is hiding underneath. Wendy and Judy explain how to use the concepts of metaphor and twelve simple questions to explore the nature of a client's problem and enable them to work their way behind the metaphor and discover new solutions to old problems The amazing thing is that simple metaphors have become such a common part of language that we all use, but no one ever really checks what they mean to the individual's using them. Think of the number of times people say "old Fred is a real pain in the neck." "Pain in the neck" is a metaphor for some sort of annoyance caused by Fred. It is not literally a pain in the neck. So, as therapists, we need to get behind the metaphor to find out what is really going on. Other everyday examples are used throughout the book in very simple ways to illustrate the techniques and use of the 12 questions to get behind the metaphor. One independent study has concluded that people use roughly six metaphors in a minute of normal conversation! As soon as someone says "it's like..." or, "it's as though...", or, "it's as if...", then the following statement will be metaphorical. When I first started training in Ericksonian Hypnosis we were told only to use the client's actual words, because if you paraphrase something that the client says, then you're putting your own slant on it. That is one of things that clean language encourages you to do, as they explain in the book do not paraphrase, parrot phrase - repeat exactly what the client said. So if the client said "I had a really rough week" using a clean language approach, you would explore the concepts of rough, as used by the client e.g. "What sort of rough week was it?" This book has been written in such a straightforward way that it has been quickly accepted by the health community and became a best seller within four months of publication! And that's pretty good going in today's market!! So, if you were ever stuck for something to say, or were thoroughly confused by the Meta Model, or did not know how to start dealing with somebody, then this will be a good place to start a new journey of discovery. And you may find that you develop better relationships and improve your understanding of the people in your life, along the way. Something Exciting is Coming Soon! Alex and I are excited about an EFT event coming your way in a few weeks time. The EFT World Summit is an opportunity to get the EFT community excited, and to bring valuable information about EFT to the public. The EFT World Summit is going to be an "online event," sort of like an online audio seminar of cutting edge EFT information, and Alex is one of the contributors to the event. Picture an EFT event, similar to those that has taken place in the past, where different practitioners present on a variety of topics, but instead of being in person, it'll be recorded over the phone, in an interview format. Plus, there will be valuable information included in a workbook and other audio bonuses. So, please keep a watch out for an email (in a few days)from us, telling you all about the EFT World Summit happening in April! . Life really boils down to two simple questions: #1 - Should I get a dog? Or, #2 - Should I have children?   . Contributing Columnist Tom Dorzab is a retired biologist from Kansas and now lives with his wife in Spain. Tom followed his passion and is now an energy medicine practitioner specializing in Eden Energy Medicine. You can contact Tom at tomdorzab@ya.com Emotional release, what a relief! (Part 4) by Tom Dorzab I've been writing about how to deal with various emotions in the past three articles, and now I'd like to see if we can find another emotion that you may want to deal with, lurking in the deep dark caverns of your consciousness. The frightening emotion I'm talking about is felt by evil doers everywhere. We need to start a grassroots organization to wipe it out in our lifetime. You've probably already guessed what it is based on the intimate knowledge you have of your own self-destructive emotional battles. The emotion I'm speaking of is, of course, compassion. Compassion? I can hear the question now. Did you say compassion? But isn't compassion what we all need to have more of? Isn't it the emotion that can save the world? There must be some mistake! OK, I admit it. It's possible that I may have misled you a tiny little bit. Now that I have everyone's attention, we can get to the meat of the issue. None of the emotions we have talked about are evil or bad. They all serve a good purpose under the right circumstances. For instance, when that bear from Volume 15, No. 2 of this newsletter is chasing you through the woods, you need to be afraid; you need to be very afraid. Believe me, sitting down and discussing alternative meal plans with the bear is usually not in your best interest. In this case, fear is your friend. If that same bear catches up to you and sinks it's teeth in your leg a little, you are fully within your rights to become angry, although your options may be somewhat limited with a bear chasing you. I have also found that panic is a very good choice when being chased by a bear. Now imagine being chased by the bear. You're getting tired! He's gaining on you! He's almost upon you! Then, suddenly you look back and there is no sign of the bear anywhere. You decide to rest and, since the danger seems to be over, you hold the appropriate neurovascular points. After holding the points, you notice a sound from nearby. It sounds like a big animal is in pain. Hmmm, I wonder what animal that could be? You decide to go investigate. A short distance away you come to a large hole in the ground and can hear that the sound is coming from the bottom of the hole. When you look over the edge into the hole you see that the bear is lying on the bottom of the deep hole with his leg lying to the side at an odd angle. It becomes obvious the poor bear has fallen into a bear trap, broken his leg and is in intense pain. Being the compassionate, good and caring person that you are, your heart goes out to this fellow traveller. You feel his pain. You have to help him anyway you can. You lower a small fallen tree into the hole and carefully climb down to help him. STOP! This might be a good time to bring up some good points. I suspect it would become obvious to you very quickly that the silly bear has not been reading this newsletter and has not held the appropriate neurovascular points prior to you climbing down the tree trunk. It is also very likely that he would express his continuing fear, anger and/or panic in a way you may feel is inappropriate. The point I'm trying to make here, is that the compassion that drove you to climb down into the hole with an injured bear without regard for your own safety, would in some circles be considered over-compassion. This may be somewhat of an extreme example I admit, but over-compassion can also operate on many other levels. Not taking care of numero uno is always the result. Compassion, of course, is something we could use a lot more of in this work-a-day world. It's just that we need to spread it out a bit. Piling it all on just a few people won't cut the mustard. The Earth Element is the mother in us all. It strives to protect and preserve. It's the milk and cookies element. It's only when the element is out-of-balance that it can veer toward over-compassion. The result could be a smothering kind of effect for those to whom the compassion is directed. Most of us have felt that same smothering kindness at one time or another. Fortunately, the following technique can be used on others as well as ourselves. If your inclination is toward over-compassion, the next technique should help smooth things out and get you back to the level of compassion that's healthier for you. The drill is essentially the same. First think of the situation that is causing your over-compassion. Then, while keeping those thoughts in mind, place the fingertips of both hands on your forehead. Use a light touch. Place your thumbs directly below your cheekbones. Hold these points until you feel the synchronous pulsing under all the points you are touching or until you take a deep sigh, yawn or have a feeling of release. Don't forget to breathe deeply. Remember, it can take anywhere from three to thirty minutes. Are you hanging in there with me? We're almost finished. Next month we will explore the Metal Element, the last element in our Five Element model. The out-of-balance emotion for the Metal Element is grief, so those of you who never experience grief can skip next month's article. But for the remaining 99.99999% of you, it might be a good idea to tune in again next month. . ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST Count every 'F' in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... How many "Fs" were there? There are six (6). Read it again. Really, go back and try to find the six "Fs" before you scroll down. The reasoning is that the brain cannot process the word "OF" Incredible! Go back and look again! Anyone who counts all six 'Fs' on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare. .   Berit's Corner Random Thoughts A big "Thank You" to all of you that invited me to be your friend on the new EFT social networking site World Tapping Community. I don't feel quite as ignorant about social networking now because I learned from you that there are lots of people that aren't sure how they work. It seems that we are dipping our toe into the water and learning as we go. I still don't see the benefit yet, but will keep at it for a while and see how it goes. Also, a thank you to those that asked if I know the results from my sleep over at the Sleep Clinic. I'm sorry to say that I don't. It's been two months now, so I should hear any day. Several people have been surprised that it's taking so long to get the results and asked, "Why does it take so long?" I don't know. Generally speaking our health care system is quite good. One of the problems we do have is waiting. We wait for test results, specialists and operations. Sometimes the "waiting" cause's serious concerns but everyone involved in health care is trying to fix the problem. I'd like to think that if I did have a serious medical issue, it would be dealt with. In fact, I know it would because Alex's brother is currently in the hospital (he has several very serious issues at the same time) and he's been well looked after. So, it's not all bad. I've called the Sleep Clinic and I'm waiting to hear back from them. All I can do now is... wait. Meanwhile life goes on, but it doesn't seem to be going too well for a lot of people around the world. I've finally got to the point where I don't watch the news as much as I used to. There's way too much doom and gloom! One minute President Obama is accused of being too serious and scaring the pants off everybody, and then he's being criticized for not being serious enough. The stock market is like a roller coaster, and we're inundated with sad stories from every corner of the globe. And, I know we're in trouble when people start appearing on TV with self help tips on how to survive the current world crisis. Everywhere I look on TV there's someone being interviewed with their suggestion for how to feel better during this world economic crisis. They're all well meaning and hopefully they are helping people, but at the same time, they sound a bit simplistic. Many of them seem to be focussing and recommending we "think positive, and all will be better." I think there's more we can do than just having "positive thoughts" especially when your world is crashing down around your ears! Personally, I find it just a tad difficult to have positive thoughts when all around me there are horror stories. So, I've found a way to deal with it all and it's really simple. I rant and rave for a few moments, usually about the latest piece of doom and gloom I've heard or read about. Poor Alex has to listen to my tirade. Then I take a short nap (10 - 15 minutes max) which usually does the trick because I wake up having forgotten what I was annoyed about and get on with my life. Now, my method may not work for everyone, and some may ask (as some people have), "Why don't you tap?" My answer is, "Tapping would make be feel better immediately and sometimes I enjoy the exquisite pleasure of ranting and raving, which also feels great!" Mind you, tapping would be faster, wouldn't it?! So, I'm not going to suggest ways for you to deal with whatever is going on for you. I'll leave that to the experts. What I will do is hope that you are all doing the best you can and that the current world situation is not affecting you too badly. If any of you are having a rough go of it during these stressful times, and you'd like a little help, please give us a call. You'll be able to talk to an expert - Alex, not me and he'll do his best to help you. As for me, I've just seen something on the Net that rots my little cotton socks, and I'd love to rant and rave about it, but Alex is with a client. Think I'll tap on it now and if there's any angst left when Alex is free, I'll avail myself of his expertise. There are benefits to being married to a therapist! In the meantime, I hope all of you are not suffering too much. And, if things are a little bleak at the moment - hang in there. Rant and rave, have positive thoughts, tap, and/or talk to someone that can help. This current world situation will get better and we will come out of it OK. I have faith in all of us to survive and thrive! Till next month, Take care. KURTIS THE STOCK BOY AND BRENDA THE CHECKOUT GIRL It seems that we inadvertently published an incorrect story about football great Kurt Warner and how he met his wife Brenda. A Reflections reader sent me an email (Thank you Karl!), with a link, which sets the record straight. Kurt and Brenda's story is still inspirational; to see the real story http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/k/kurtwarner.htm     Why not Forward this Newsletter to a friend?

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