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Editor's
Note:
The
response re Alex's article last month was very interesting,
so Alex decided to give his feedback on the feedback. This will
probably create even more feedback. 
Dave was wondering what to do about the current economic times
and offers us a unique way of getting some answers on how to
proceed. Tom continues sharing useful tips about energy medicine;
this time focussing on fear and anger. I've entered the world
of social networking and am trying to figure out what I should
do, and how to do it.
Feedback
on the Feedback.
by Dr. Alexander R. Lees
My,
my. Although the Reflections newsletter wasn't created (some
16 years ago) to generate feedback, it certainly is appreciated;
and yes, we read every comment we receive. The February edition
certainly generated quite a few - some 184 in all. For those
that have read the past editions where I wrote about perceptual
filters (the "Unique"
series of articles) and how each of us can interpret
in a way that is unique to us, I thought it would be interesting
to pursue this a little further.
To do so, we divided the feedback into categories, and did so
for no other purpose than to help you better understand the
value of knowing about perceptual filters, and their effect
on communication.
All of us have experienced being in conversation with another
person. That person may have been a friend, a husband or wife,
a son or daughter, or even a co-worker, and sometimes it seemed
as if you and the other person were on a different page. At
other times, it felt as if you were in two different books!
This phenomenon can be quite often traced to a difference in
perceptual filters, that is, how each of you is interpreting
the story, event or circumstance.
Upcoming
Seminars
To
view details of our workshops click
here
EFT - The Fundamentals
March 14, 2009
EFT
– Intermediate Level
April 4 & 5, 2009
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May 2 & 3, 2009
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Practitioner
NEW Workshop
June 13 & 14, 2009
For details on our
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When
this occurs, rapport can be broken. Rapport can be thought of
as the golden thread holding a conversation together. Rapport
is responsible for the sense of easy flow within the conversation,
and leads to trust, which is the basis of friendship and solid
relationships. Sometimes, that flow is disrupted, and quite
often it is because of a difference in translation or understanding
of some aspect of the conversation. For those of you that may
have missed the "Unique" series, please check the Reflections
archives available on our website (Sept. Nov. 2008 and Jan.
2009 editions).
Here is a brief synopsis of how perceptual filters fit in.
- We
are involved in some conversation, discussion or event that
occupies some or all of our senses. (Sensory Based Experience.)
- Seamlessly,
our brain translates, or makes meaning of, that incoming
information. It does this by comparing this input to stored
data from the past within its circuitry.
- We
then respond to our translation of that input data as
if it was the input.
- We
then store the interpretation as a memory.
Now, let's take the article "Tapping and the New President"
which I wrote in the
February edition of Reflections. By categorizing
the feedback we can begin to see the value of taking perceptual
filters into account, that is, let's take a look at people's
meaning boxes.
Feedback:
184 comments
Four thought the main point of the article was politics. Of
the four, two thought the main focus was President Obama.
Six thought the article was about advocating censorship of the
media. Of the six, one wanted to know which political party
I was trying to say was right, and that I should be more specific
and clarify my "preference."
173 felt the article was about:
- Stop
focussing on who/what is right or wrong. Begin to look for
a meta position (the greater outcome) so we can move on.
In other words, instead of focussing on our differences,
let's focus on our similarities... for a change.
- Let's
tap on any fears, worries or pessimism created by the international
economic mess.
- Be
aware of how the doom and gloom aspect of the media can
influence attitudes negatively, and tap on this aspect.
- That
referencing President Obama in this regard was a good example
of the preceding points. For example: Okay. There's a problem.
Let's begin to focus on fixing it, not fighting over whose
fault it is.
I've used the February 2009 article simply as a tool to once
again bring your attention to the power of perceptual filters,
and some of the diverse interpretations they can generate. Now,
I saved the best for last. I liked this young lady's response
so well (age 23) that I gave it a special category all of its
own. She wrote:
"Dr. Lees, I really appreciated your timing of the article.
I was experiencing so much grief and stress because of one obnoxious
co-worker that I seriously considered quitting my job. Your
article spoke to me. I realized I could be okay, and feel good
as a person, in spite of the things my co-worker does. Using
the present economy as an example of a negative influence, you
helped me to remember I can do something for me. I can feel
okay about myself and stay functioning even though it's a mess
'out there.' Thanks for the boost!"
Next month, we'll play with these filters a little more... stay
tuned.
The
2008 Darwin Awards
Yes,
it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.
Here
is the glorious winner:
When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California , would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This
time it worked.
And
now, some of the honourable mentions:
A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to
find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to
be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting
to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered
the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how
he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train
before he was hit.
Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced
back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event
was caught on videotape.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun,
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said
he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When
the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
[A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up
next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged
his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that
it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
*** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***
 Contributing
Columnist Dave Marshall is retired and lives in Spain. Before
his retirement he was in the corporate world in the UK, and
also taught NLP (he's an NLP Master Trainer). Visit his website
at www.nlpman.eu
which has a ton of free information on NLP and lots of other
good stuff.
_______________________________________
In
the current times!
by David Marshall
What
a world we're living in! And, if you are at all like me, the
economics of the current situation are causing some concern.
I have been watching all the gurus and pundits analyse the situation
and I am appalled at how the bankers can be bailed out with
taxpayers' money and still have the audacity to award themselves
bonuses. By my reckoning their bonus is they've still got a
job!
But enough moaning (I could go on forever), what should I do
about it? I expect you have been wondering things like this
as well. When it gets down to a personal level, and it's down
to you and your money what should you do? Well I was wondering
this and have been for several weeks now and today I thought
I would do something that I hadn't done for a long time (NO,
not that, whatever it was you were thinking!!). I thought I
would consult the I Ching and so I did. I used my old pocket
version of the I Ching, although there are now many versions
on the Internet, just Google "I Ching" and you will see what
I mean.
As a bit of background information, the I Ching is an ancient
Chinese book that contains good advice for any situation. There
is a ritual in how you seek the advice, and very briefly, this
is what you do.
- You
write down your question.
- You
take three coins, and as you think of the question you're
asking the I Ching, you shake the coins and throw them on
to a flat surface.
- You
then write down whether the coins are showing heads or tails
and there is a procedure for recording the score.
- You
do this six times and this will give what is called hexagram,
which is a pattern of six horizontal lines, some solid and
some with a gap.
- There
are 64 possible shapes, some of which may change, which
indicates that the situation is changing from the first
hexagram to the second.
- You
then look up the hexagram in the I Ching book and this will
tell you the answer!
So I did all that and it produced hexagram 62, Great Smallness,
with no change, which means things are static and will go on
as they are for quite some time. So I looked up the page for
Hexagram 62, Great Smallness. These are some of the things that
this hexagram advised.
The hexagram indicates an exceptional situation:
It is a combination of great heaviness which is like a beam,
its danger lies in excessive weight, and great smallness, which
is like a bird; its danger lies in mounting too high and losing
the ground under its feet.
If one occupies a position of authority for which one is by
nature inadequate, extraordinary prudence is necessary.
How on earth does that relate to those big bankers?
This
is the judgement:
Exceptional
modesty and conscientiousness are sure to succeed but it is
important that they do not become empty form, fawning or servile.
They must always be combined with correct dignity in personal
behaviour if one is not to throw oneself away.
One must understand the demands of the time in order to offset
its difficulties. One must not in any event count on success;
the requisite strength is lacking. One should not strive after
lofty things but hold to lowly things. The wise man understands
the time and learns its message. He must fix his eyes more closely
and more directly on duty than does the ordinary man, even at
the risk of appearing petty. Such a man is reverent in worship,
sensitive, dutiful and unpretentious. His significance lies
in external matters; he is on the side of the lowly.
Well you can imagine my surprise! How does that relate to the
current situation? Well, to me it means take things easy, stay
calm, or in modern day parlance, don't put your head above the
parapet! So keep away from get rich quick schemes, pay attention
to detail, be thrifty. Do nothing for a while and so build up
strength for when times improve and you will be ready for action
Oh if only those damned bankers had followed this advice we
wouldn't be in the mess we are in now!
Now, of course, you may say the I Ching could have come up with
something totally different and you're right. The point is this:
How do you interpret the results with respect to the question?
And of course, that depends on the question. The I Ching is
not going to tell you which horse will win the 3.30 at Ascot
or Bellmarsh. The question needs to be phrased in such a way
that it is asking for advice about a problem. For example, "What
should I do about xxx?" or "How should I approach xxx?" or,
as I asked "How should one approach the current economic situation?"
This account is what really happened, and I will swear on the
stack of what ever religious books you care to name, that it
is so. The I Ching has an uncanny way of giving you good food
for thought. It is all to do with our personal psychology and
how our brain wants to make connections with things. So, writing
down the question and keeping it in mind as you throw the coins,
are connected. Then you get the answer and your mind will then
do its best to find things that connect back to the question
or will be interpreted in the context of the question. You can
choose whether you take the advice or not, but it usually causes
you to contemplate different aspects of the situation. Even
Carl Jung thought it was great and if it was good enough for
him it is good enough for me! We certainly do live in interesting
times!
| . |
Financial
Planning
Dan
was a single guy living at home with his father
and working in the family business. When he found
out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly
father died, he decided he needed a wife with which
to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted
the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural
beauty took his breath away. He decided to go over
and speak to her.
"I
may look like just an ordinary man," he said to
her, "but in just a few years, my father will die,
and I'll inherit $65 million."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card
and three weeks later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than
men.
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EFT
Social Networking Site
The
good folks that made the movie about EFT called Try it on
Everything are in overdrive (which is a good thing for us
EFTers) promoting EFT in new and exciting ways. They have just
created a new social networking site for EFTers called World
Tapping Community.
To quote Nick Ortner (creator of the site) "It's a 100% F-R-E-E
resource to find great information, support and meet new friends
to support your journey towards abundant health and healing!"
Please have a look at World
Tapping Community. You may see Berit's smiling face
as one of the members, and if you join, please invite her to
be one of your friends. She'll gladly accept.
 Contributing
Columnist Tom Dorzab is a retired biologist from Kansas and
now lives with his wife in Spain. Tom followed his passion and
is now an energy medicine practitioner specializing in Eden
Energy Medicine.
You
can contact Tom at tomdorzab@ya.com
Emotional release, what a relief!
(Part 3)
by Tom Dorzab
Fear
is running rampant in our society today. All you have to do
is look in any newspaper or watch any news program if you don't
believe me. Many people are literally paralysed with fear and
seldom leave what they perceive to be the safety of their homes,
Few rational people, when reading those same newspapers or watching
those same newscasts, will fail to feel at least a hint of anger
and are more likely to feel vein bursting anger at the injustices
inflicted at so many in the world around us. These responses
are normal. It can be said they are simply human responses.
But for those of you who have tried the simple techniques presented
in parts 1 and 2, you know that, while they may be normal human
responses, it's not necessary for you to allow them to hold
you in their grip for long. First you need to begin training
yourself to recognize the signs that you are slipping into a
fear or anger mode. Then, if you are willing to take the time
to rid yourself of those emotions before they become destructive
by using these simple techniques, your chances of living the
life you want are greatly improved.
While there is no doubt that fear and anger are two extremely
destructive forces in our modern society, the story doesn't
end there. Working from our same Five Element model, we have
already covered fear and anger as related to the Water and Wood
Elements respectively. As we work our way around the Five Element
chart consisting of Water, Wood, Fire, Earth and Metal, we find
that the Fire Element is next in line. And boy what an element
it is! The Fire Element is near and dear to the hearts (pun
intended) of us all. The Heart Meridian is just one of the four
meridians found under the umbrella of the Fire Element. While
I don't really want to get into a discussion of the meridian
makeup of the Elements right now, I would be amiss if I didn't
mention another of the meridians found in the Fire Element.
And that meridian would be the Triple Warmer Meridian.
The out-of-balance Triple Warmer Meridian (see Feb.
2008 edition of Reflections for more information
on the Triple Warmer Meridian) is without a doubt, the biggest
health problem most of us have on the planet today. One of its
many functions is to protect us against outside dangers. The
problem is that today there are so many situations new to us
including chemical toxins, electromagnetic radiation and genetically
modified foods to name a few, that our Triple Warmer Meridians
are unable to judge which is good for us and which is bad for
us. Triple Warmer has opted to play it safe in most cases and
regards most new things as dangerous until proven safe.
So what, you ask? The problem is that when Triple Warmer encounters
something new, just to play it safe, it's normal response is
to assume the newcomer is bad for us and initiates the fight
or flight response, also known as the stress response. When
the stress response is initiated, energy is pulled from most,
if not all, of the other meridians since your body considers
the situation to be a matter of life or death. Blood is diverted
from the forebrain and directed to the more primitive hindbrain
as the stress response begins. Blood is also diverted from the
gut and directed towards the big muscles of the legs and arms
in preparation for the supposed need for fight or flight. Triple
Warmer's reaction and the ensuing stress response helps explain
the mental confusion and digestion problems that are so prevalent
in our society today. Not surprisingly, the out-of-balance emotion
for the Fire Element is panic or hysteria. The flip side of
the Fire Element coin is joy. So if you ever find yourself in
a tizzy for whatever reason and want to trade in your tizzyness
for a brand new and improved joy model, this next simple technique
is for you.
Just as before, we will be using Neurovascular Points on the
head to reduce your out-of-control emotion. First think of the
situation that is causing your panic. Then, while keeping those
thoughts in mind, place the palm of one hand across your forehead.
Place the palm of the other hand on the back of your head about
even with your eyebrows. Then just lightly hold your palms in
place.
Don't forget to breathe deeply. Just as before, if you are sensitive
to energies, you may eventually feel a pulsing sensation under
your palms. When the pulsing becomes synchronous, that is, when
you feel the pulses at the same time under each palm, the work
is finished. If you don't feel the pulses, and some people don't,
other indications of an endpoint could be a feeling of release,
a yawn or a deep sigh. Depending on the degree of panic you
are feeling, it usually takes anywhere from three to thirty
minutes to reach completion, but it's possible that it could
take longer.
Next month we will be working with the Earth Element and the
over-compassion resulting from that element when out-of-balance.
Until then, your homework assignment is to get fearful and then
get unfearful, then get angry and get unangry,
and finally you must get tizzyed and then get untizzyed.
Most of us have a ready supply of past and present experiences
bursting at the seams with emotions that want to be released.
You have the tools, all you need to do is use them.
Berit's
Corner
Want to be my Friend?
Social
networking seems to be the current craze. I have to admit that
I'm at a loss to understand the fascination. So, I must be missing
something or not understanding the process very well. Two of
the most popular sites - Facebook and MySpace - have millions
of members. Facebook alone has 175 million! And, then there's
Twitter which really confounds me. On Twitter a person is limited
to 140 characters - it takes me more than 140 characters to
say what I want to say, at any given point in time. Ask anyone
that has received an email from me.
The reason I'm talking about social networking is because I
signed up for the new EFT social network site called World
Tapping Community. I think it's a great name! Within hours
of signing up, I got an email asking to be someone's friend.
I didn't know the person, so I went on the site and read her
profile. She seemed like a nice person, so I accepted. Then
I thought: Now what do I do? Am I supposed to correspond with
her via the site? If so, what would I write about?
Therein is the problem! I don't have enough time to write my
current friends, never mind new ones that I don't even know.
Besides, what would I write about?
I've been fortunate in the past with making new friends as a
direct result of the Internet. Several women that wrote to us
for one reason or another (usually in response to something
in our newsletter) are now friends. In each case, the woman
wrote a nice email and I replied. Something about our correspondence
clicked for us and we keep in touch. I haven't had the pleasure
of meeting two of these women yet (you know who you are - Coralyn
in France and Lyndall in Australia) but they are two special
ladies I hope to meet one day soon.
I have had the pleasure of meeting two lovely women (Anna in
Texas and Rehana in New Zealand). Rehana has become a dear friend
and she's come to visit us in Canada on two occasions.
Obviously I connected with these women and we've taken the time
to become friends. And, just as obviously, we must have something
in common, which we do. All of us have, amongst other things,
a somewhat warped send of humour. These friends are responsible
for a lot of the jokes Alex sends out to his Joke List, so please
keep them coming.
Back to social networking - I suppose I can say that my new
friend on the EFT site and I have something in common - EFT.
But, to be honest I don't want to write about EFT... that's
too much like writing about work stuff. I'm writing about EFT
everyday in response to email inquiries, talking on the phone
with clients and people inquiring about EFT.
So, I come back to my question: What would my new friends and
I write to each other about? I seem to be going in circles here
and I think I need a bit of help. I have a lot of questions
and I don't know the answers. I would appreciate hearing from
anyone that is involved in social networks and has found it
to be useful and fun. Please let me know if you have developed
friendships and if so, what kind of friendships are they? One
big question I have is: Did you join whatever groups you've
joined to promote your business, or were there other reasons
for joining? Have any of these friendships helped increase your
business? If so, how has your business increased?
In the meantime, I'll accept the offer of being friends from
the people on World Tapping Community and maybe I'll be brave
and ask some members on the site to be my friend, and see what
happens.
Generally speaking I don't feel like an older person. I only
I'm old when it serves a purpose, i.e., when I don't feel like
doing something or I want sympathy about something; then I milk
it for all I can.
In the case of social networks I do feel like I'm old. I'd like
to think that if I were in my 30s or 40s I would have jumped
on the bandwagon and by now I'd have literally thousands of
"friends" around the world.
But, better late than never! I'm now a member of a social network
and I'm very curious to see how it all unfolds. If anyone can
give me a few tips on the best way to proceed, I'd really appreciate
it. And, remember, if you sign up on World Tapping Community...
please ask me to be your friend.
Till
next month,
Take care.
KURTIS
THE STOCK BOY
AND BRENDA THE CHECKOUT GIRL
In
a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when
a new voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry out
at register 4. Kurtis was almost finished, but decided to answer
the call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile
caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful. She was
an older woman (maybe 26, and he was only 22) and he fell in
love.
Later that
day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock
to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly
at him, took her card and punched out, then left. He looked
at her card, BRENDA. He walked out only to see her start walking
up the road. Next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket,
and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and
she accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he
could see her again, outside of work. She simply said it wasn't
possible. He pressed and she explained she had two children
and she couldn't afford a babysitter, so he offered to pay for
the babysitter. Reluctantly she accepted his offer for a date
for the following Saturday.
That Saturday
night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that
she was unable to go with him. The babysitter had called and
cancelled. To which Kurtis simply said, "Well, let's take the
kids with us." She tried to explain that taking the children
was not an option, but again not taking no for an answer, he
pressed. Finally, Brenda brought him inside to meet her children.
She had an older daughter who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis
thought. Then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair. He
was born a paraplegic with Down Syndrome. Kurtis asked Brenda,
"I still don't understand why the kids can't come with us?"
Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with
two kids, especially if one had disabilities. Kurtis was not
ordinary.
That evening
Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the
movies. When her son needed anything Kurtis would take care
of him. When he needed to use the restroom, he picked him up
out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back. The kids
loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was
the man she was going to marry. A year later, they were married
and Kurtis adopted both of her children.
Since then
they have added two more kids. So what happened to Kurtis the
stock boy and Brenda the check-out girl?
Mr. & Mrs.
Kurt Warner now live in Arizona, where he is the quarterback
of the National Football League Arizona Cardinals. It should
be noted that he also quarterbacked the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI.
He has also been the NLF's Most Valuable Player twice and the
Super Bowl's Most Valuable Player.
AND THE
REST OF THE STORY: Kurt was recently on TV and was asked by
the interviewer to tell people about what he does when he and
the family go out for dinner. He explained that when the whole
family go out to eat he has one of his children pick out a family
eating at the restaurant. Kurt then tells the wait staff he
is picking up the tab for that family's dinner anonymously.
He remembers the days he was working nights in the grocery store
to make ends meet.
Why
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