Dr. Alex Lees and Associates

The research suggests that approximately 40% of any given population is procedural oriented, 40% are option oriented, and about 20% fall somewhere in the middle. That is, they exhibit both traits equally well.

A procedural oriented person senses things have a beginning and an end, and that there are probably some steps, in some sequence, that if learned and followed, will allow mastery of a task or subject. These are the people that also like to plan their work, and then work their plan. One of the main motivational interests is how something works, as opposed to why something is. Procedural oriented people, once they start something, want to complete it. This aspect in a personality is why widgets end up in boxes to be shipped out and used, homework is done, and ideas turn into products that function.

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Option oriented people are different. An option oriented person would gravitate not so much to nursing or teaching, so much as advertising or sales, for example. Option people are motivated by a chance to do things differently. Show them a tried and true procedure, for instance, and they will more than likely want to change it, improve it, or make it better in some way.

Completion isn't necessarily the goal, but a chance to explore ideas and even bend the rules certainly is high on the attraction scale.

Once you begin to explore meta programs, learn a little bit about them, and begin to incorporate this new awareness into your dealings with people, you will find more and more value in learning even more about meta programs. Most like an example offered, just to help them learn, so here's a few.

If you wanted to start a business or enterprise as a manufacturer/producer of a product or service, one of the requirements would be staff. For the sales/marketing department I would highly recommend ensuring the person display option oriented traits. In the manufacturing or production department the staff would do well if they were procedure oriented. The combination would be a giant step forward to creating a successful enterprise.

For therapists that are assisting people to make changes, you can listen to the client's word patterns, and if you ascertain that he/she likes maps, directions and rules, you would then tell him/her step by step, exactly what to do to achieve any desired changes. If on the other hand, the client is more options oriented (you would know this by the description and choice of words used) then you would perhaps offer the same information, but using different language patterns. For example:

And lastly, the following example may assist some of you that are in a relationship (married, have a partner or significant other, etc.). The husband is a computer software designer and he spends his days not only following procedures, he's also creating them. His wife is a stay at home mom and has three very active teenagers, so she has to keep track of all their activities as well as run the household. I mention this only to give you an idea of how they spend their days.

Basically both the husband and wife are engaged in procedural activities all day, and every day. This is just fine with the wife. She likes to be highly organized, make lists, cross items off the lists, and everything runs smoothly, in her opinion.

The husband on the other hand, can't wait for the weekend because he spends so much time being procedural during the week, that once the weekend comes, he's able to do what he prefers - being options oriented. On Saturday morning he wants to have a leisurely cup of coffee, maybe read the paper, play some games on his computer, go for a walk and maybe take his wife out for dinner that evening. He wants his day to unfold however it unfolds. That makes him happy.

The wife has other plans. She gives her husband his first of many to-do lists first thing on Saturday and demands that he get busy. She literally has every minute of Saturday and Sunday planned. The idea of spontaneously going out for dinner would never occur to her, and if it is suggested, is met with, "No."

This marriage may last for a while and could in fact last a long time, but neither person is happy. The solution for them would be to talk about how they like to do things, and then consider ways that both of them can do what makes them happy, taking into consideration what the other's preference is. If they knew about procedural and options oriented ways of being, they could combine the best of both, and they'd probably have a lot more fun when they're together.

There, you now have an introduction to another meta program and if the interest so indicates (feedback from you) either David, Rehana or I will certainly continue to share the wealth of information regarding meta programs. Please keep your feedback coming!

Contributing Columnist Dave Marshall is retired and lives in Spain. Before his retirement he taught NLP (he's an NLP Master Trainer) and now has a website with lots of free information on NLP. You can contact Dave at www.nlpman.eu

As the autumn is now approaching and our last visitor has gone home, I have found time to catch up on some reading. The last visitor left me a book called Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. It is subtitled "The Power of Thinking without Thinking" - interesting, I thought! But this is not going to be a book review, all I want to do is to tell you about one small experiment described in the book.

It concerns some gamblers who are carrying out a card playing experiment. The objective is to discover when the player has worked out which is the way to win the game. The game is to win money and is played with four packs of cards, two blue and two red. What the player does not know is that, on balance, the blue cards will win small consistent amounts and the red cards will win and lose larger amounts, but ultimately the red cards will lose. How many cards would the player play before he discovered the trend? They found that most people would turn over 50 cards before they had a "hunch" about what was going on. After 50 turns they would prefer the blue cards but did not know why. After about 80 cards they could explain why the blue cards were better.

So, a familiar pattern of learning - have some experiences, think about it, develop a theory and work it out. Or get a feeling, gather more data, propose hypothesis, test hypothesis. A very common human experience - don't back the hunch until you can prove it. That's the classical thinking, which Blink sets out to challenge.

But that was not the only twist to the experiment. The experimenters connected the players to sensors that measured the sweat glands in the player's hands. As you probably know our sweat glands react very quickly to stress and they discovered that the players started to show signs of stress with the red cards after 10 turns! Long before the "hunch" and much longer before they could explain what was happening. And this process is totally unconscious and comes from what is now called the Adaptive Unconscious. The book also suggests ways to develop this skill so that we could make more use of this phenomenon. How useful would that be if you could trust it to be right every time?

And then I remembered a little trick that I learned over 15 years ago which I called "Sticky Plastic" and you can test it now. Here's what you do. Get some surface that is shiny and smooth - a plastic table top, a polished surface, a piece of glass or even the back of a credit card will do. Now just lightly stroke it with a finger and get the feel of it. Keep stroking the surface and consider this multiple choice question: What is 4 + 2?

As you stroked the surface, did you notice a change in the way it felt? Most people describe the change as feeling "sticky" and it usually happens on the wrong answer. Wouldn't that have been useful during multiple choice exams?

You can also develop the technique to decide between several options, stroke the plastic and find out which one feels right. Another way is to calibrate the feeling for "yes" and the feeling for "no" and, with practice, develop the skill so that you can test out your hunches before you commit to anything or even use it to double check decisions. I am sure you can devise many experiments of your own to find out how it works for you. Of course this probably has many other connections to things like the pendulum which appears to be another way of connecting to the adaptive unconscious. But that's another story!

There are many more examples in Blink of times when people just "knew" something, made split second decisions that were right, or went with the "gut feeling." As one of the critics said "Blink might just change your life."

Contributing Columnist Rehana Webster (in New Zealand) is an EFT Master and NLP Master Practitioner, and also conducts seminars/workshops internationally.

This client (I'll call her "Ann") had driven six hours to come and see me. Ann had a very controlling mother, who was also extremely judgmental and critical. Ann could not do anything right as nothing would please her mother. There were some major beliefs that Ann had about herself which came from her early childhood conditioning. Mother had some how impressed on Ann that she was not good enough, not pretty enough, not 'fair' enough, not intelligent enough. Mother always compared her with her older sister who was a blonde haired, blue eyed, little beauty. Ann had dark hair, dark eyes and dark skin.

I previously asked Ann to fill out a pre-session history sheet so I was prepared for her. We had a brief chat (getting to know each other) and then got right to it as she was eager to do so. We used the EFT 'movie' technique on a number of events she recalled from her past. We did plenty of tapping on global feelings and issues as well. I also used NLP anchoring and overriding old triggers with positive feelings.

I estimated that two sessions would just get us started and there would be plenty of homework to do as well (it does take persistence to dig out deep seated emotional patterns). My experience is that the more work the client can do the better in empowering them to help themselves. I set the task for Ann to email me daily with a report on what she tapped on. It is very interesting to follow the emotions and negative thoughts as they are expressed by Ann. The following is Ann's diary listing what she tapped on daily.

DAY 5 More tapping on hating the course, husband being a slow-poke, lazy, and getting lung cancer.

DAY 6 Self-pity, being different, negative, unlikable, pathetic, bad mum, and too tired to do anything.

DAY 8 Boredom, stupidity, depression, and being negative.
Note: I noticed that she was having less 'bad' thoughts.

DAY 9 Lack of motivation, tiredness and being forgetful
Note: Notice that her pattern is starting to change.

DAY 11 Feeling flat, snapping at my husband and being intolerant. At times I feel like a wound up clock, over wound actually, and about to snap.

DAY 12 Feeling like an alien.
Note: Ann wrote saying she was frustrated because she can't tap and play "Spider" on the computer, at the same time. I suggested she get her husband to tap on her while she played Spider.

DAY 13 Still tapping on lack of energy, no motivation and paranoia but, for some strange reason my big black cloud seems to be fading.

I suggested she see her doctor about the lack of energy and have her menopause medication assessed.

I was very pleased with the way Ann tackled her negative thoughts and emotions. Finally on day 13 there was a noticeable shift in her internal dialogue. Keeping a diary helped Ann see the path she had come down and how her negative patterns had slowly been eroded by tapping consistently on negative thoughts, emotions and feelings. The key here is sticking to doing the EFT tapping. In one word, being 'persistent'.

Update on our book...

The editor has finished the editing and now we get to go through the book again and decide which of her suggestions improve the book, or not. I've had a quick glance at her edited, marked-up copy and can see that Alex is "comma" happy. I had a feeling there might be some comma deleting necessary :-) Next up will be the really fun part - designing the cover and jacket. The not so fun part will be having Alex pose for a photo for the back cover. Alex does not like having his photo taken so I'll have to warn the photographer. When I mentioned Alex and his dislike of posing for a photo to someone a while ago, the person immediately suggested Alex "tap for that." I had to point out, "I'm sure Alex would if it was something he wanted to change." I just may have to do a little tapping on his behalf.

As some of you are aware, both Alex and I feel that our beliefs and attitude are key ingredients to how well we live our lives. If we feel the world is a scary, dark place full of fears and anxiety, then that will be how we live our lives. If, on the other hand, we feel that, generally speaking, life is good, then we will lead a healthy and happy life, with a few pitfalls along the way. And, we can deal with those pitfalls resourcefully, so we can continue living our best left. It's not always easy and sometimes downright awful, but our beliefs and attitude work for us, and I'd like to add, quite well.

I'd like to tell you about a couple that had the beliefs and attitude to get them through a devastating time and live their best life. Their life together is amazing, heart warming and inspirational. Their story was told in a series of articles (published in one of our local papers) by Ruth Slavin, the wife of Jan Thorsen.

Ruth and Jan (both with grown children) met in 1989 and married in 1993. Jan was a professor of veterinary microbiology and Ruth was a systems analyst, and they shared a love of classical music, travel and good books. It took Ruth a couple of years before she realized she loved this gentle man who made her laugh and finally agreed to marry him. After they married they quit their jobs and travelled to South America and Europe teaching English as a second language. Life was good.

After six years they craved a home base and returned to Canada. One a trip to Italy in 1999 their life was suddenly and irrevocably changed when Jan was diagnosed with lung cancer. They knew they would be facing a battery of tests and procedures when they returned home so they decided that this news would not interfere with their holiday. Lung cancer would not cramp their style and the tests and procedures could be done when they got home.

Back in Canada, surgeons removed the lower lobe of his left lung in January 2000. Their fears were quieted with the prognosis of a full recovery. But, 18 months later after finding out the cancer had returned, Jan's lower right lobe was removed.

Then in 2004 the cancer returned for a third time and surgery and radiation had to be ruled out because Jan's lungs had been so compromised. They were told Jan would be very sick and would die in three to six months.

But Jan had another idea. There was an experimental treatment called immunotherapy available in many parts of the world, but not in North America, so after thoroughly researching the treatment and finding it credible (European studies stating a 20 - 30 percent success rate) they went to Europe for treatment. While there (the treatments took place a month apart so they lived there while Jan received the treatments) Ruth and Jan visited old haunts, and took in the full fall concert season. A friend noted, "Only Ruth and Jan could turn a death sentence into a European holiday."

Ruth is quoted as saying, "We didn't let his lung cancer ruin our lives, we just went with it."

The immunotherapy did not make Jan sick, unlike the effects of chemotherapy, which meant they could enjoy themselves between the treatment sessions. Jan never complained or grumbled about his fate and they both enjoyed every minute of every day doing the things they loved most; reading, listening to music and travelling.

Over the next three years Jan continued his treatments and bounced back from near death many times. They had discovered Scottish dancing upon their return to Canada and last April Jan was seen dancing all evening attached to an oxygen tank.

His last days were spent with Ruth in their home where he rose every day, got dressed and with the help of a wheelchair and walker, would get around the apartment and even go to the beach for a spell. At one point Ruth had asked him if he wanted to die? Jan said, "Only if I have to."

Last Thursday after eating a good dinner and enjoying a glass of wine Jan went to bed. He awoke during the night from the pain, and after taking some medication he and Ruth sat together and read until the pain subsided and he fell asleep.

Ruth woke in the morning and Jan did not. "My tears are for us, not for him," Ruth said. "He had such a good life. I am so lucky we found each other."

When Ruth had previously asked Jan if he wanted to die and he said, "Only if I have to," Ruth now adds, "On Saturday he had to."

I don't know if I have done justice to Ruth and Jan in recounting their story of love and courage here, so I hope you will join me in agreeing they were a remarkable couple. Their grace and dignity, as well as their love of life, is an example for all of us. I wish I could have met Jan, and who knows, maybe one day I will meet Ruth. It would be an honour.

Things You Never Needed
or Wanted to Know

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase - "goodnight, sleep tight."

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

Coca-Cola was originally green .

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only - Ladies Forbidden." Thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb."

AND FINALLY...
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!!!!!!