 |
|
Using
Various Techniques Although the various techniques I have written about over the years aid and abet changework, no one technique works for everyone, every time, on everything. I still believe the only way to ensure 100% success (regardless of marketing claims made by the creators of the techniques) is to start a "Client School." Just imagine it for a moment, if you would. The client presents the problem and, after the yet to be invented appropriate assessment, the individual, couple or family is then directed to the school. At the school they would learn many things so they could become the "perfect" client. For example:
After graduation, they would be allowed to return to your office, and you could display your competency, brilliance and compassion. They would now be suitably trained to play their part in your perfect world and add to your eminent success.
|
 |
|
Whilst we await that illustrious day, there is something else you can do to enhance the possibilities of successfully helping yourself, or a client, towards growth and change. Combining different techniques can have a synergistic affect. For example, I began to combine salient aspects of NLP with EFT several years ago. The improvement was so readily apparent I began to teach how to do this in seminars, calling them "The Art of Delivery." It didn't take long for others to do the same thing, including the use of the same name (which can be taken as a compliment). It also really serves to prove how useful the combination turned out to be. For those reasonably familiar with EFT, for example, the more specifically the problem is presented, the better the changework will be. Sometimes though, a person may have experienced psycho-emotive or physical abuse to the point where any and all attempts to discuss specifics result in lateral moves instead and their overall state remains vague and global. One very effective way to assist the client is to switch to Timeline Therapy. Imagine a mountain range of jagged peaks. These peaks represent, or are a metaphor for, the extreme negative emotive charge within the mind of the individual. Now, you and I can think about the peaks (specifics) and want to zero in on them, but for the person you are working with, there is only the mountain range. This is but another form of generalization (the pain to a large degree, is one reason they need to remain global in their description of the presented problem). Timeline Therapy can be a most useful tool for reducing the height of these peaks that is reducing the generalized negative charge causing so much pain.
Once this is accomplished, the client can begin to focus on the specifics for the purpose of resolution. Now, using EFT on the specifics is effective and so much easier to do. In some cases I have used these two techniques in sequence, that is, one after the other. In other cases, we have seamlessly shifted back and forth. I invite you to try both ways, and enhance your skills even more. Remember, wanting to help others feel better should never be construed as a reason to restrict yourself to just one technique. The best way to help is to grow and the best way to do that is to keep learning. I had intended to write a bit more about Timeline and its value in this article, and then David's article arrived from Spain, and guess what? His article is about Timeline! So, if you'd like even more insights into the value of Timeline Therapy, be sure to read David's welcome addition. Thanks Dave - you
saved me some work. If you would like
more information regarding Timeline Therapy, we would be pleased to
do another Timeline workshop. Please contact us and let us know your
thoughts.
It's
About Time! _______________________________________ Have you ever wondered about time? Time rules our lives but we can't see it, touch it, or feel it. We talk about spending time, saving time, and time is money, unfortunately there is one big difference between time and money - you can't bank it, or use it later; once it has gone it has gone! Time is the subject that many philosophers over the centuries have wondered about. One entry in Wikipedia says "...... time is part of the fundamental intellectual structure (together with space and number) within which we sequence events, quantify the duration of events and the intervals between them, and compare the motions of objects. In this view, time does not refer to any kind of entity that "flows", that objects "move through", or that is a "container" for events. This view is in the tradition of Gottfried Leibniz and Immanuel Kant, in which time, rather than being an objective thing to be measured, is part of the mental measuring system. The question, perhaps overly simplified and allowing for no middle ground, is thus: is time a "real thing" that is "all around us," or is it nothing more than a way of speaking about and measuring events?" Another version is a "V" shape were the past is a line going off to the left and the future is a line going off to the right of you are making a "V" in front of you. There are many variations. I once had a client whose perception was a stack of discs in front of him, one disc for each year with the current year at eye level! Another client saw herself standing in a circle with ripples radiating out from her. The first kind is called through time the second is called in time. In fact, where any part of Timeline passes through the body it is called in time (I think of it as if you are standing "in time," or you are looking "through time"). If we just consider the two extremes, there are certain personality traits that seem to go with them, with combinations occurring where there are variations. The first trait is that people who are through time tend to be very organized, they like structure, take life very seriously and seem to be able to make decisions quickly. The traits of people who are in time are generally opposite to this. They tend to be less organized, are slower to make decisions and tend to procrastinate and leave things to the last minute. It's as if people who are through time can "see" their future laid out sequentially, like a diary. People who are in time seemed to find it hard to see further than the next thing on their horizon. And they seem to have more fun! They also tend to forget the mistakes of the past, whereas people who are through time seem to learn more from their mistakes because they can "see" them in front of them. This can be a very useful device because we can change the way we perceive our Timeline. For example, an in time person, when they want to be organized, can imagine their Timeline is out in front of them, running from left to right, and they can visualize the sequence of things that they have to do in the future. This seems to have the effect of "programming" the brain to handle things more easily. This has led to the development of techniques to "create your future," making the attainment of clearly defined goals easier. The main use of Timeline processing is in therapy, where going back to traumatic memories is much easier to accomplish than older methods. Even though we cannot change the past event, we can change our perception of it and specific methods have been developed to deal with past trauma. The key to this is to find the cause of the event, because it seems as if events are linked by a common emotion. So, let's say someone has a phobia, the treatment would concentrate on the feelings associated with the phobia and the Timeline would be scanned to find the first occurrence of that feeling and the event that went with it. Corrective action, such as adding resources, information or anything the subject needs to alleviate the unwanted feeling is applied, and all the events that are connected to that cause are adjusted, unconsciously. The first time I saw this use was with a man who had a fear of public speaking. When the Timeline was visualized in front of him he was asked to discover the first time he had that feeling. He immediately remembered being made to stand on the desk in a classroom and recite a poem! That fear had affected him all his life and he overcame it in less than five minutes. There are many things that we can do using the Timeline approach, the effects sometimes seem miraculous and I have been able to help people in many surprising ways. And if you want what, could be the trip of a lifetime, explore your Timeline!
You can contact
Rehana at webstar@ps.gen.nz
The Art of 'Letting Go' There has been much philosophical debate on the art of 'letting go.' How does one do that? What does it involve mentally? Can it happen naturally or can one will themselves to let go of ….old hurts, events, people, things, etc? There are frequent articles on how to 'let go' and 'forgive'. What does it really mean? I've been interested in what is happening inside a persons head for this process to occur. Do all people do it the same way or are there variations to this? How is it that some people can easily let go and forgive and forget or at least put stuff behind them? I have come up with a routine which works well with many people. Then I get them to take another picture of the pizza but this time its taken with a 'black and white' film with an old fashioned camera. Then I ask them to put the 2 images side by side and compare the feelings associated with each picture. Which one gets their juices flowing? I ask them to move the B&W photo to the side and a fair distance away and notice how even more disinterested they become in the B&W pizza. Once I've demonstrated how the mind works with pictures, and feelings in eliciting desirable or undesirable mental states, we move into the 'letting go' part of the session. I use NLP skills in discovering how the client hangs on to feelings. If the 'hurt' is a person, I ask them the standard questions such as:
So, I gather from them a clear picture of how they picture their 'hurt.' In this way the client also becomes aware of how they have put together their picture and how their feelings are paired with the trigger…meaning the 'hurt.' Once again I get them to change the sub-modalities of the picture of the 'hurt.' Make the picture B&W. Make it still, make it dim and fuzzy, and move the location further away so the picture becomes smaller. I throw in EFT tapping and get the client to tap the short cut protocol every time they change some element in their mental picture. Check the intensity rating at each level. The client will start to notice how and when they feel more disengaged and removed from their 'hurt.' Once the client and I have determined the use of which specific sub modalities work best, we rehearse a couple of times. Swish back and forth between the original to the 'let go' picture and keep testing for intensity. Eventually when the client says that they are not bothered by the picture, I know we have reached a state of 'let go.' The change of feelings will be apparent on the client's face. Watch the client closely and their body language will say it all. I recently did this process with a client who was having difficulty in getting over the death of her sister. Her feelings were extremely intense and she could barely bring herself to talk about the accident. The client was not at the accident which happened 10 years ago. In her minds eye she was seeing her sister right in front of her about 2 feet away. We did the above process and with several rounds of EFT tapping on aspects related to the death, my client was amazed at how the intensity of grief was decreased by changing how she imagined her departed sister.
Berit's
Corner I am a Baby Boomer and during my 20s I took advantage of all the new choices and new found freedoms afforded to women. Suddenly we had lots of choices about careers and life partners and I spent the years from 20 to 30 having a lot of fun. Then I met Alex and I quickly realized what this man valued and appreciated greatly was a home cooked meal. How did I know that... he kept coming to my house and eating my roommate's gourmet, home cooked meals! Suddenly I was motivated to cook, and my motivation sprung not from a desire to please myself or Alex for that matter, but rather from jealousy. Looking back on those times now, I think that was pretty pathetic but it was a great motivator then. My roommate was not only a great cook, she was also very sophisticated, having been born in South Africa, educated in England and spent the first ten years of her career working for a very wealthy businesswoman and living in her chateau in the South of France. She met many famous people there, and got a job with one of them (a movie producer) and moved to LA. She then landed in Vancouver where I met her, we became roommates and that's how Alex came to eat her wonderful meals. Suddenly I saw her as competition for Alex's attention. Now, you can imagine how much Alex loved this! Here he had two women competing to fill his tummy with delicious food, and he was enjoying himself immensely. I did realize,
rather quickly, that being jealous of my roommate was silly and I joined
Alex in enjoying her wonderful meals. I also realized that cooking isn't
everything and I did know how to sew. I had been sewing some of my own
clothes for years so thought I could impress Alex with my skill as a
seamstress. But, sewing a man's shirt or pair of trousers didn't seem
that exciting so I thought long and hard about It seems I hadn't learned all the lessons of the 60s and 70s very well yet. So I proceeded to knit him a sweater as a surprise. I purchased beautiful mohair wool (beige and brown) and knit my little heart out. Finally it was finished (it only took six months) and I proudly presented it to Alex. Of course, he put it on right away, and there he stood, with his arms stretched out and the sleeves almost reaching the floor. If it hadn't looked so funny I would have burst into tears. Alex being the perfect gentleman that he was (and still is) immediately started to point out the things he thought were great about the sweater, the colours, the feel of the mohair, and if I shortened the sleeves, there would be enough wool for a scarf! He gave me a big hug and a kiss and I decided then and there to take it to a professional and have her fix it. I have never knitted another sweater or anything else for that matter. Instead I began learning how to cook. There were many rewards to cooking... it's fun, it's something you can con your husband into helping you with so you end up spending a fun time together (yes, Alex helps me out occasionally... but please don't tell anyone!) and you get to eat the finished product right away. No waiting six months to see your creation. And in my learning how to cook, some of the valuable lessons I learned all those years ago in Home Ec came to the surface. So my education wasn't wasted, it just took a little while for me to use it. I'm grateful that I was born when I was because I think we who are the Baby Boomers lived at a great time in history. We grew up in the 60s, lived to experience the computer and the Internet and we have more choices in life now than at any other time in history. Life is pretty darn good, and if someone wants to learn home economics, all they have to do is turn on the TV, or go on the Net, and find a ton of choices re cooking, gardening, decorating, etc. One other thing
I'm grateful for... I married a man that loves food, any and all food,
and tells me how great the meal tastes even if it's not a gourmet meal.
To Alex, all meals are gourmet 'cause he didn't have to cook them, and
besides, he thinks beans, weenies and green peas IS a gourmet meal.
P.S. I forgot to mention last month... the water filter is installed and works just fine... Alex won that battle! Take care,
|
|
This
response is usually a defensive mechanism at play, and the practitioner
needs to be both sensitive and respectful when she or he finds themselves
at this delicate point in therapy.
Contributing
Columnist Dave Marshall is retired and lives in Spain. Before his retirement
he taught NLP (he's an NLP Master Trainer) and now has a website with
lots of free information on NLP. You can contact Dave at 
So
"is it part of a mental measuring system?" Well, one of the discoveries
made in NLP by Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall was how we order, in our
mind, our memories according to time. If you think about it, we must
have a way of differentiating our memories according to time, or we
would not know the difference between something that happened last year,
last month, or last week. Our Timeline is what we call our internal
representation or mental image of time. It has now been discovered that
there are two basic forms of Timeline organisation. The first is a perception
of a line that runs from left to right in front of the person. In this
case the past is generally to the left and the future to the right.
The second is a perception of a line that runs through the body with
the past behind you and the future in front. These are the two general
cases, but there are many variations and combinations of these forms.
CContributing
Columnist Rehana Webster (in New Zealand) is an EFT Master and NLP Master
Practitioner, and also conducts seminars/workshops internationally.
Firstly
to set the stage I ask the perspective client if they like pizza? I
ask them to see their favourite pizza in front of them and I ask them
to describe to me in detail what it looks like, the topping, the colors,
the peppers, pepperoni, cheese, bacon, mushrooms, pineapple chunks and
anything else. Once we build up a Technicolor picture of the pizza and
the client is clearly salivating, I ask them to imagine taking a photograph
of the pizza.
12.
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? 
Recently
it was reported in one of our local newspapers that our biggest and
most prestigious university will no longer offer a Home Economics Degree
program. I realize that this is not earth shattering news when compared
to news of the world (especially the last few weeks!) but I think it
is quite profound never-the-less. It's also disappointing and a bit
sad, for me anyway. I was a Home Economics major which is actually quite
amusing because I didn't really start to cook until I met Alex and I
was almost 30 years of age!
If
I hadn't taken Home Economics I wouldn't have known what to do. I was
whipping up cinnamon toast and tea in no time flat. All you women in
my age bracket may remember that was the very first thing we learned
to "cook," in those days. But that's all I could remember how to make
after six years of Home Ec. I know that we must have learned other stuff,
but do you think I could remember any of it now!
what
to do. Ah ha, I've got it... I'll knit him a sweater. And before you
ask... no I didn't know how to knit! That didn't stop me 'cause I wanted
to impress Alex, largely because I thought that's what you were supposed
to do - impress the man in your life with your homemaking skills.
Officer:
Can I see your license please? 
 |
(C) 2007 - Dr. Alexander R. Lees & Associates Inc.