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Editor's Note: In this issue of Reflections we have a trio of talented, charming, creative and attractive gentlemen writing on a variety of techniques. We're delighted to have an article by Steve Wells (Psychologist, EFT Expert and co-creator of PET-Provocative Energy Technique) write about his newest creative endeavour called SET (Simple Energy Techniques). Also, we welcome back from holidays our friend and regular Contributing Columnist, Dave Marshall (NLP Master Trainer, now retired and living in Spain) who writes about a great technique called Core Process Statement. And, last but not least, Alex writes about how you can change or neutralize your responses to unpleasant people and/or circumstances by just using your imagination. If we follow the advice from these three great guys, we should all be in ship-shape form in no time... Enjoy! Imagination Last month's article dealt with awareness, that is learning (and it is a learning) to notice what you are involved with that presses your buttons. You know the kind of situation I'm talking about... the ones where you wish you had said this or that, or you wish you had been quicker with a reply. We all encounter situations, sometimes daily, where we wish we had responded differently. I'm going to outline a brief technique that you can use in almost any circumstance where you wish you had responded differently. Hopefully you will (with practise) respond just the way you want and those irritating and sometimes unwanted exchanges with people will become a thing of the past. You will feel comfortable and in control, and life will be a little more pleasant as you go about your daily communications with others. |
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As you become more and more proficient at this, you can actually begin to notice even more specifically, what, exactly is triggering you, or pushing your buttons. For some, it is
what she/he says.
For others who are making even finer distinctions, you may have come to the realization that it isn't so much what is said, but how it is presented. Presentation can include voice tone, facial expressions and body language. Once you are fairly clear what the button presser is for you, you're ready to learn one of several techniques, and then apply it. The technique I'm going to explain requires use of the imagination, which is just fine, considering all change begins in the imagination.
Now, imagine being in your body, in that same situation, and suddenly there is the trigger and, imagine what it would be like, how it would feel, responding the way you prefer. Again, there is no substitute for practise, so practise until the new state actually is the response state in real time, in a real situation. Here's an example of this technique, taken from my files.
"Sue" a highly motivated and conscientious individual, had just received a 'negative' evaluation from her supervisor. Her advancement, including a higher pay level, was contingent on her response to this evaluation. She had a two week grace period to deal with it. The promotion would then go through, or, failing to satisfy the supervisor's concerns, she would have to wait another year and try again. Sue brought in the evaluation and we quickly zeroed in on the following point. "This individual has received feedback that she is abrasive, and refuses to accept or address her behaviour." I asked Sue, "What happened for you when your co-workers mentioned this, and what happened for you when the supervisor finally mentioned it?" When Sue had finished describing the less than resourceful state she found herself in, I explained that "abrasive" was a reaction/evaluative word, but did not explain what she was, or was not, doing. Therefore it would be difficult to change. I then asked her what state would she need to be in to clarify this point. Sue described the state, and we then used the technique I described previously. In our next session, Sue started with, "You would have loved it, Alex. The supervisor said, 'So what are you going to do about this abrasive behaviour of yours?'" I said right back to her, "I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, however I don't know exactly what I'm doing, or not doing, that my co-workers call abrasive, so I'm glad you are involved, and hopefully you can clarify it for me." Sue continued, "The supervisor took a step back and said, 'You know, that's a good point. I'll get back to you.' She said it in such a supportive way; I just know this will all work out." Next month we'll
explore some more ways to help you express yourself in the calm, confident
manner you know you can, or wish you could.
Editor's Note: It is my pleasure to introduce you to Steve Wells, a psychologist living in Australia. Although many of you may already know Steve; he is an EFT expert and has written many excellent articles on EFT. What some of you may not be aware of is that Steve, along with Dr. David Lake, have created their own unique tapping procedures. Steve and David are innovators and are always looking to improve, fine-tune and add to their skills. Out of that energy and drive they created PET (Provocative Energy Technique). On a personal note, Alex had the honour of presenting a talk about the Mind/Body Connection at Steve and David's PET workshop in Vancouver in 2005 and a great time was had by all! Never ones to rest on their laurels, in 2006 they created SET (Simple Energy Techniques) and now teach PET and SET internationally. Below is a short introduction to SET. Steve and David have put together a special report outlining the main techniques and processes involved in SET, which you can download at no charge from their website at www.eftdownunder.com Simple
Energy Techniques (SET) Many of the techniques and strategies used in SET are adapted and modified from Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), Thought Field Therapy (TFT), and other energy psychology approaches, although SET also has several elements that make it uniquely different from those approaches.
The main component of SET is a simple process of stimulating energy meridian points on the body for emotional and physical relief. Typically this involves tapping on the points, although rubbing or simply touching the points can also be used. We also encourage and teach a form of continual tapping for "energy toning". This continual tapping is the cornerstone of SET and the main element that makes it different to EFT and TFT. Additionally, SET almost never uses set-up or reminder statements. This very simple,
practical approach will enable you to easily incorporate energy tapping
into your daily life. Therapists will be excited to learn that SET is
easily accepted and used by clients with very little resistance. Members
of the public will be impressed to learn a technique that they can use
without having to be clever or "psychological". And the best thing is
that SET works! Core
Process Statement _______________________________________ It's not NLP, it's not new, but it is a very powerful technique. I first came across it over 15 years ago when I was one of the team of trainers running personal development courses for a large international Company. This particular course was the flagship of the program, and it was designed for people who were middle-aged, middle-class, middle career, who had become de-motivated. The core process formed the high point of the course and, for many of the participants was a very emotional experience. I had no idea that such a simple technique could be so powerful. For a lot of the participants it gave them new focus for their life. It was often described as discovering your personal mission statement. [At the time, mission statements were all the rage in the business world.] The process [described below] was carried out in groups of three. One person was the client, the second person asked the questions and the third person documented the responses. This process could easily take an hour or more per person. Of course, with an NLP background, all the fundamentals of rapport and sensory observation will prove to be very useful. So, here is the procedure.
The three level questioning technique -
Repeat this part of the process for each of the events identified by the client.
Well, the best way to find out about how good it is, is to do it yourself. Get a couple of friends together, explain the process and have a good time. It really is very easy, exceedingly beneficial, and you may even discover something new about yourself and your friends.
Berit's
Corner There's a little glitch however... I need to backtrack a bit here. A couple of weeks ago Alex decided to install an under the sink water filter. We've had one for the past 20 years (Alex installed one in each house we've lived in). So, Alex knows how to do this. It should have taken a couple of hours at the most. Earlier I said "a couple of weeks ago," well, that's how long Alex has been at it. Not every day mind you, but everyday on two successive weekends. The problem was the he was trying to match 35 year old plumbing with something that hadn't even been invented way back then. When it still wasn't working properly last Monday, we used the faucet anyway, and kept changing the soaking wet towels (catching the drips under the sink) every few hours. It was all we could do because we had to work. Then it was the weekend again and time to make it happen... Alex was determined... this plumbing was not going to defeat him! I know we could have called a plumber, but the gauntlet had been thrown, and Alex loves a challenge. He worked on it
most of the past weekend. The glue is still setting so no water in the
kitchen. Oh, did I forget to mention that it's the kitchen sink!
Over the weekend I was busy filling containers with water from the bathroom.
You can imagine the fun I had while trying to cook... Alex was lucky
he didn't complain when he got beans and weenies on Saturday night.
Now that I've explained all that, let's get back to this Monday morning and making some tea. The water container was empty so I rushed to the bathroom and bent over the tub, holding the container under the faucet. The ice cold water came pouring out right onto my head... I had forgotten to switch the leaver thingy back after having my shower! Needless to say, I screamed. That brought Alex running... he hates to hear me scream... but instead of finding me wounded in some way, or maybe electrocuted (you never know what mischief I could get up to) what he saw was his wife looking like a drowned rat! Just then the client arrived. With as much dignity as possible I asked Alex to greet the client while I changed clothes and dried my hair again. Great way to start a week! Now that the shivering has stopped and I'm nice and dry, I can update you on the book writing. Firstly I have to say... it's a huge undertaking to write a book. I was under the misconception that the words would just appear (from Alex's head) and the book would be done. Of course, I'd type all the words and then all the other stuff like editing, re-writing, printing and marketing would all happen in the blink of an eye. After all, we'd already written a book (our EFT book) and Alex has contributed to others. But, and it's a big BUT, our book on EFT was easy to write because it's only one technique, for a very specific thing, i.e., delete unwanted emotions. So, it was very easy to write that book. This book, however, is about a whole bunch of "stuff." Whenever I type what he's written, he adds more stuff to what he just finished writing. I'm not complaining because the stuff is good, I just need to gently remind him that the book does not have to be 1,000 pages! At this point I want to take a minute to brag about my husband. We've been together almost 32 years and I've occasionally said that I've heard "it" all before, when Alex tells a joke or imparts his pearls of wisdom. Once in a while he surprises me and it happened again the other day. I asked how the writing was going and he said, "Great. I'm just adding something about the immune system." I groaned inside 'cause I thought we were done with the science bits. I asked him, "Do you have to include that?" He smiled and proceeded to explain how the immune system works. He had me hanging onto every word as it was fascinating and funny, especially the way he told it. So, of course, it will go in the book! Now, if only, he could fix the plumbing in my kitchen! Take care,
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#10.
"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Thatıs the speed
of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun." 
#7.
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" 
Simple
Energy Techniques (SET) is a collection of simple and user- friendly
energy techniques developed by Steve Wells and Dr. David Lake from Australia,
which can provide significant relief for a wide range of emotional problems,
and some physical problems. Although the techniques are simple to use,
the results of using them can be quite profound.
Contributing
Columnist Dave Marshall is retired and lives in Spain. Before his retirement
he taught NLP (he's an NLP Master Trainer) and now has a website with
lots of free information on NLP. You can contact Dave at 
How
to start your day off with a bang... it's Monday morning and I'm running
late (I spent too much time reading the paper) and the client is due
very soon. I jump in the shower, put on my makeup, get dressed and blow
dry my hair... with five minutes to spare before the client arrives.
I'm quite pleased with myself and realize I now have time to make tea.
It
was a messy job, there was lots of glue and tape involved, as well as
numerous trips to the hardware store for plumbing parts. Somehow the
leaks kept appearing, and always in a different place!
We're
about 1/3 done and progressing nicely. The added bonus for me, is that
I'm still learning new stuff, and I don't have to take a course and
pay money to learn it. I've learned a lot from Alex over the years and
it's a nice feeling to know that even after 32 years he can still come
up with new stuff to entertain and amuse me. 
4.
August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
9.
December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna
look"using different size funnels.
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(C) 2007 - Dr. Alexander R. Lees & Associates Inc.