 |
|
"Future
Pacing" Over the years I have heard many people say that they've attended a workshop or seminar and it was great. They felt energized, excited and were eager to try the new skills they had learned. They were motivated! Many people have also said the same thing about seeing a therapist. They say the session was terrific and they felt better, but a few days later, things were back to the way they were before the session. What happened to those feelings they experienced while at the workshop, or in the therapist's office? How come they can't put into practise what they learned at the workshop or in the therapy session? After becoming aware of this, and wanting to do something to change it, I remembered an NLP technique that would do the trick. I think one of the reasons people weren't taking the new learning or skills into the "real world" was because the workshop presenter, or therapist, had not future paced the learning or experience adequately. In other words, the person wasn't able to take the learning out of the seminar and into their every day lives. The same can be said for the therapist. The person's issue was cleared in the office, but somehow it didn't translate or transport into their daily living experience.
|
 |
|
So, what is future pacing? This is the concept of contextualization. It is not all that unusual for something learned in one place, or location (context) to be "unavailable" in another (context). This is where future pacing comes in. Future pacing provides a "bridge" from one context to another.
A future pace can be done by simply saying to the client, "Now, can you imagine the next time you are in that situation, and realizing this resource is available to you." The word pattern used to create the bridge can vary, the point is to assist the client in using their imagination to contextualize the changework or resource technique to when and where they want it available to them. Developing the art of future pacing is but one more tool to add to your growing therapeutic toolbox, not to mention that using it not only adds elegance to your work, it will be much appreciated by those you offer assistance to. And, yes, you may even find situations, events or circumstances where future pacing to be a good thing... one excellent example is taking the learning out of a book or seminar, and having it available when you need it. Now, I'd like you to imagine the next time, in some other context, where the use of future pacing and remembering to use it, would be useful for you!
Neuro
Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Me
_______________________________________ Hello, my name is Dave Marshall and amongst other things, I am a Master Trainer of NLP. I started studying NLP about 20 years ago when I was working for a large international computer company, where I was a personal development trainer. Doing this job meant that I had studied several aspects of personal psychology and personality assessments. During this time, we had a Canadian psychologist working with us and we used to swap ideas over lunch. One day, she told me about NLP and I thought, "What weird stuff, load of American psychobabble!" Well, I had no idea how wrong I was going to be. A couple of months later, another friend of mine had a book about NLP called "Using your brain for a change," by Richard Bandler. I borrowed the book and started reading it while I was on holiday. It seemed to be getting more interesting and when I got to the bit about curing phobias in five minutes my attention was grabbed! I had a very bad water phobia, so I thought I'd do what it said. All I had to do was think about it in a slightly different way. It will happen in my head, no one could see me do it, I didn't have to chant affirmations for three months or run around the market square, naked at midnight 10 times! And it was even free! So I did it. It took about three minutes, and I didn't feel any different - so I thought nothing had happened. Three weeks later, I went swimming and to my amazement, I just went straight under water. That was a pretty good confirmation that the process had worked. And it started me off on the long trail of learning NLP. As a result of that my life started to change. I found that I became more confident in areas that I wouldn't have thought to have been affected by a phobia cure. I then persuaded my boss to send me on some NLP training. So I went through all the basics until I was offered, what was euphemistically called, the "career transition program." This actually meant voluntary redundancy. I thought this was fantastic, the universe had at last moved in a mysterious way and I was free to do what I wanted. Which was NLP. My boss was also leaving, and we agreed to team up. He would run a training company, specializing in NLP and business training, and I would do the training. I think people living in Tuktoyaktuk have better facilities than we had. But at last civilization has reached us, and we now have most modern facilities and the wonders of broadband wireless Internet, which means I can now get back in touch with what's been going on the last 10 years. As I have now retired, I don't run classes anymore, so I thought I could distribute my knowledge of NLP, via the Internet, for free! I have this funny theory - when you have had good use out of something and it still works, it might be helpful to other people to just give it away and see what the Universe does for you. I have set up a web site where you can learn the basics of NLP... for nothing. I am using Google Adsense to offset my personal costs. This means whenever someone clicks on an advert I get paid a very small commission. I also use mostly free software which means that I have to show some advertising (a small price to pay, me thinks!). So, I hope you will all subscribe to my site and discover some of the great things in the NLP world that you can add to EFT and make your therapy even better. All you need to do is to go to http://get-me.to/nlpman and see how you feel about listening to podcasts and helping to spread these discoveries all around the world! Remember to fill in the subscriber bit and I'll send you an email when I make any additions or changes. Well, that's enough for now, Aloha
.
You can contact
Rehana at webstar@ps.gen.nz
Meta Programs & EFT We've all heard the phrase "resistant client." What does that really mean? Could it be the client is "resisting" help, or the client is "resisting" this particular practitioner's help, or maybe it's something completely different! Sometimes a person is "resistant" to using EFT and we as people helpers are left wondering what to do. We know EFT is extremely effective in helping people but we're blocked right at the starting gate. We've introduced EFT, explained how it works and now want to start helping the person. Instead of tapping away, we're stopped dead in our tracks. Would you like to learn a technique that will get you past the resistance and get you tapping as soon as possible? One way is to learn about Meta Programs. Meta programs is an NLP technique that when used with EFT can bring about the changes your client is seeking, and you as the practitioner can start tapping on the issues presented far faster and helps get amazing results with EFT. In my practice, I use my knowledge of NLP Meta Programs to build deep rapport with my clients through gaining an in-depth knowledge of their main mental processes. I call these processes the invisible characteristics that affect people's lives; they are mental processes, which manage, guide and direct our behaviors, and produce significant differences in behavior from one person to the next. Meta Programs are neither good nor bad. Each has positive and negative aspects. If you want to have a meaningful relationship with other people who have different Meta Programs, you need to understand their model of the world, be flexible and speak to them in their language. You can identify a person's Meta Programs from the language they use and/or their behaviors. We tend to like people who are like us (similar Meta Programs) and have difficulty getting on with people who are dissimilar to us. Meta Programs may change over time as you learn new information or experience significant events in your life. An example of one Meta Program is:
The opposite end of the continuum for this program is:
Now that you have some examples of the Meta Programs 'Toward' and 'Away From,' let's use this information with our application of EFT. I recently had a client who was at the far end of the 'Away From' Meta Program. How did I know? His language was loaded with the 'Away From' words. No matter what I was about to suggest he already had the answer of how it was not going to work for him. Realizing his internal processing, I switched into matching his program. I needed to match and satisfy all the criteria of this program so I could lead him into a position from where he could change his perspective, which would then allow me to use EFT effectively. We tapped on the issue thus:
"There is no tool or therapy around that will help you and even if it does, it will be temporary. After all, you know because you've tried most every thing. No matter what tools might become available in the future; they wont work either because nothing works for you. In fact I don't think there is anything or anyone in the whole universe who can help you."
Until I matched and met him at his level within his Meta Program and in fact 'spoke the unspeakable' which he was already thinking, he was not ready to move into accepting that EFT might work for him. The issue we were tapping for was his inability to see and be positive about anything in his life. His wife was giving up on him because he was so 'negative'. His work colleagues avoided him for the same reason. He was most unpopular. His resistance is part of the Away characteristics. It is a mistake to label someone in this category as 'negative', because they are in fact keeping themselves safe by thinking out all the possibilities for potential danger, harm and failure. Just like good chess players, they unconsciously go through all the moves before being satisfied that the outcome will be the best one. Therefore this is not resistance at all, but well though out conditions and can appear as 'negativity' for the untrained ear. Once the client arrives at the point of having their 'safe keeping' criteria satisfied, then the use of EFT is enhanced a hundred-fold. They are open to accept the tapping and removing of blocked energies. In part 2 of this article other important Meta Programs will be examined. This will give the readers further insights into building rapport with their clients by meeting them in their model of reality.
Berit's
Corner So what are we planning... as you may be aware we have an EFT Level 1 workshop in a few weeks, followed by a Level 2 at the end of October. On October 6, 7, 8 & 9 we have our Heart of Delivery - Adding NLP to EFT workshop and all three of us (Alex, Rehana and me) are really excited about it. I admit to having some concerns that our American friends may not want to travel, what with all the new airline security measures in place, and I understand and appreciate their concerns. Travelling, especially by air is no longer fun. We are also coming up to the fifth anniversary of Sept. 11th and this will be a time to reflect and think about all that has happened since then. It's also a time to remember the people who are no longer with us and I'm sure all of us will take the time to honour those people appropriately. Many times I have heard people on TV, or read in newspapers and magazines that we cannot allow ourselves to become fearful. We must continue to live our lives the best way we know how. We can take precautions, be smart and make wise decisions about how we live our lives, but we should not, and cannot, give into the fear. If we do, "they" have won! Alex is flying to San Francisco at the end of September to speak at the International NLP conference. He's going to have to be at the airport three hours before departure, he will have to go through all sorts of security checks and answer many questions, he'll have to take off his shoes, and he won't be able to have a bottle of water with him when he steps on the plane. Did he consider cancelling his trip? His answer is a resounding "No!" This new way of
travelling will just give Alex the opportunity to practise what he preaches.
Some of you may have recognized that what you just read was an example of "reframing," and that's one of the things we will be teaching at the October workshop. Wouldn't you like to have the skills to reframe the experiences in your life, especially the ones that cause you distress? I'm sure you would, because knowing how to make yourself feel better is a good thing... reframing will help you to get on that plane which in turn, allows you to lead your life the way you want to! What else is happening... Alex has created a new CD for Performance Enhancement and we're hoping it will be ready for the end of September. I asked our webmaster Martin to create a CD label for it and it looks great! Seeing the design motivated me to ask him to re-design all our CD labels, which he's now doing, and they are all terrific! If any of you would like a website created, or re-designed I highly recommend you consider Martin. You can contact him at martinv@fortressweb.com Here's a sneak preview of our new Garden of Choices CD label.
I have also been looking for a marketing consultant that can help us with our new website and promote our products (books, CDs and workshops) and I found a couple of people that would be fantastic... but... they cost a lot of money! So, to make something happen, i.e., find the right person and be able to pay their fee, I'm going to start practising the information contained in the movie "The Secret." If you haven't seen it, I do recommend watching it. It really is a simple message, but as with most of us we seem to forget to practise what it teaches us... we're too busy in living our lives the same way, and getting the same results. It was a pleasant experience to watch the movie and it reminded me of how I should be thinking about "stuff," and how to get what I want! Hopefully we will see some of you at our workshops... and if you know a marketing person... please give him/her our number! I hope you have a wonderful Fall. I know we will!
Take
care,
|
|
Editor's
Note: I am pleased to introduce Dave Marshall! We became friends
with Dave and his wife Jacki when we lived in Spain. They live in
a beautiful part of Spain and have happily retired there from England.
And
so we started, and I continued with my own training in England, Hawaii,
Toronto, and Munich. When I wasn't away being trained myself, I was
running classes for the general public and businesses in NLP. We did
this for the next six years and then, my wife [we've been married now
44 years and have two wonderful, daughters and a super grandson] was
offered early retirement from her job. It was then, we decided to go
to Spain and live. This was a grand challenge. We had bought a house
a couple years before, half way up mountain dirt track in the Sierras
Alpujarras behind the Cost del Sol. It had no mains electricity, water,
drainage or telephone. And we have spent the last nine years sorting
it all out. Of course this meant no Internet.
Contributing
Columnist Rehana Webster (in New Zealand) is an EFT Master and NLP Master
Practitioner, and also conducts seminars/workshops internationally.
I
know it's not the beginning of a new year... we still have four months
of 2006 left, but the Fall season, and particularly September, always
feel like a new year to me. September seems to be the time I wake up,
am full of energy and have lots of ideas. And, I make plans.
He
can summon all his skills and when he gets frustrated or annoyed with
the line-ups he can tap away the frustration. He can use his NLP skills
to speak with the Customs agents appropriately when he's questioned.
Alex can look upon the new reality of air travel as an opportunity to
put his skills to use. Having this attitude will not only help Alex
have a more pleasurable travel experience, but it will get him to San
Francisco. 
The
way I see it... I either earn the money to pay for a marketing consultant's
fee (which I don't mind doing as I think it's worth the expense) or
I put "out" the thought that a benefactor (perhaps someone that has
been helped by Alex either in his office or at a workshop) steps forward
and decides to help us spread the word. This kind of "stuff" happens
all the time... so I'm going to try it. After all, I have a "parking
Fairy" and I always get a parking spot (she even moved to Spain with
me)... I just need to remember to call upon her. 
Ingredients:
 |
(C) 2005/2006 - Dr. Alexander R. Lees & Associates Inc.