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"Writings
On Our Walls" "Writings on our walls" is an interesting phrase and refers to "the truths" we learned as children. Some of these truths, as it turned out, became quite supportive, and sustained us in achieving successes in various aspects of our lives. On the other hand, many of us may have learned truths that turned out to be limitations in some way, and we find ourselves held back because of them. Perhaps you can remember being a kid, and having to leave class because you had to go the washroom. Once inside the cubicle, you read the latest "news of the day" scrawled upon any available wall space. The most interesting point of that exercise was the tendency to believe what was written on those walls. You may remember seeing your friend Mary's name, and someone had written, "Mary cheats." You also may have seen messages that read, "Harry is a loser," or "Susie lies," or "Joe sucks at baseball." All of us, to some degree, were exposed to a vast variety of messages about other people's limitations, screw-ups, and less than acceptable performance. Guess what? This
form of "programming" applies to each and every one of us. The
difference is simply a question of degree. |
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Your parents sometimes (or a lot), your babysitter (sometimes or a lot), your peers, your siblings, your uncles or aunts, or perhaps it was just a family friend... at some time or another, someone, usually in a highly emotional state, explained to you, the way the world is. I'm talking about those experiences with whomever (parent, peer, sibling, etc.) that caused you to believe in your limitations. These conversations usually started with:
All of this, and
any other examples you may begin to remember, are "Writing on our
walls." It seems The Rule is: "Anyone else can write on my walls, but I cannot. What is written on the walls is true and, as long as the writings on the walls exist, I cannot go for it." Once again, EFT is available to rescue you.
EFT is an eraser. Once you begin to realize that any limitation is primarily because of the teachings you had, then EFT becomes your way of removing those limits. To begin to erase your writings on your walls, first identify, that is put into thought or words, what you know or think you can't do. And, to prevent a flood of emails, or other forms of communication querying this point, please understand we are all bound by the constraints of reality and common sense. For example, if you are forty years old, please don't ask if the use of EFT will allow you to become an astronaut! If you can, think back to the teachings, the input you had regarding the subject, and as you begin to remember, begin a session of EFT by tapping the PR point. Continuing to tap the PR point, state the limitation prefaced by: "Even though I can't... 'X' (name the limitation), I deeply and completely accept myself." Repeat this two more times. Then tap the rest of the points using a reminder phrase representing the limit, such as "Not allowed to be happy."
The following are some examples.
Remember, any of the above takes place whilst you are tapping the PR point continuously. Then use a reminder phrase (representing the problem) as you tap on the rest of the points. Taking the time to clear these writings on your walls can reap great dividends, and clear the way to dealing with other issues more easily. For example:
Then tap the rest of the points using a reminder phrase, for example:
Granted, at this level of change-work the astute observer will say: "But that's not specific enough!" True. However, by tapping with a like and similar phrasing, one is loosening up the generalization and softening it. This "softening up" effectively allows you to begin to recall specific incidents back there (in time.) Once you access
them, and tap on those specific "writings" you are beginning to remove
the core limitations impeding your progress. And now, let's answer the
questions, "What for?" and "Why bother?" Answer: Inner peace, more happiness.
Guest Columnist While EFT has helped many people overcome major traumas in their lives, it is often overlooked as a solution to some of the little bumps, scrapes and petty annoyances of daily life. This article by Rick Wilkes (a Coach and EFT Practitioner in Maryland), gives us some useful tips on discovering those little glitches which can cause stress to our energy system. What are your daily stresses? I'm curious… what are the things that cause you stress on a daily basis? What seems to come up 3-5+ times per week as you move through your day that annoys, angers, depresses, or even scares you? The stresses you choose can be big, small, or even silly. It doesn't matter. If you experience it as stress, you are not alone. When I was first learning EFT, I noticed this daily stress of mine and decided to tap on it: "Even though I am really, really annoyed at the rest of the family for this HUGE PILE of dirty clothes behind the door, I choose to find it surprisingly relaxing to ignore them or even take care of them myself." The change was strikingly quick. I lost all annoyance, and when I walked into my own closet, strewn with several days of tossed off clothes, I laughed (and tapped) a bit at my own hypocrisy. We all have our preferences. We all think we know what would make life (and other people) perfect. And sometimes we are exposed to disgusting intrusions or wastes of energy (like all the email spam). But even with those, when we remove the stress to our energy system, we often find surprising solutions that ease the situation. 1) Make a list of your daily stresses. Be as specific as possible! Rather than a general topic like "my kids," use items like: when the kids fight over the computer, when the three-year-old keeps tugging on me when I want some space, or when the kids argue with me over cleaning their room. Instead of "traffic," a more specific stress list might include: that stupid red light on Canal Street that only lets through 3 cars each cycle. Get the idea? Be specific. If you are short of time, just choose one or two stresses for your list. 2) Consider stresses in all aspects of your life that come up repeatedly, 3-5+ times per week. Follow your day from the sound of your alarm clock, morning routine, family interactions, getting to/from work, work and co-worker issues, pets, computers, etc. Some of these may seem silly, and some may feel unkind or "unspiritual." Include them anyway! I assure you, I have been silly, petty, and unkind enough in my life to not hold anyone to some unrealistic standard. One of the ways you can make EFT more effective is by acknowledging precisely how (even profanely) upsetting the stressor is. 3) For each item on the list, briefly answer the question: "How do I react when I have this stress?" How do I behave towards myself? Towards others? What sounds do I make (sigh, groan, tut-tut, scream)? Where do I feel it in my body? Be as specific as possible for each stress. Example: "When I find that the lights were left on in the family room all night, I sigh, feel like we just wasted money, that I'm the only one who cares..." You know, the full drama. Life is so much easier when we remove the little glitches! Rick Wilkes
Our book, Emotional Freedom Techniques - EFT - What is it and how does it work? has been selling steadily to people in many parts of the world. This eBook is the
third edition of our book, and it has been revised and expanded to 240
pages!. We
would appreciate hearing your feedback.
Thank you to all that wrote us with your best wishes, and condolences regarding Lucas. We really appreciated hearing form you! During the weeks since Lucas' passing, Alex and I have had many conversations and they went something along these lines, "NO, I don't want to get another dog. No one can replace Lucas. He was one of a kind." Both Alex and I took turns uttering a variation of those words. We tried to explain our feelings to Kaylie, but she didn't understand. She was too depressed. Alex tapped for her. It didn't help... she was lonely, and so were we. We came to the realization that we are a family of four, not three. One Saturday morning about three weeks ago I actually felt compelled to read our local newspaper (I generally don't read it). Found myself reading the "Pets" column in the classified section. Meanwhile we are in the throes of puppy training. Ty has many nicknames... Whirling Dervish, Little Brat, and lots that can't be printed in a newsletter! But, he has captured our hearts, and we feel very lucky to have him. We were a little concerned about the timing of having a puppy right now because we are very busy at work, and have three seminars to do in March. Then on April 1st we go to Bellevue to attend Gary Craig's workshop on "EFT and Serious Diseases," where Alex will assist Gary with the people that have kindly volunteered themselves for the demonstrations. Rick Wilkes, (this month's Guest Columnist) did the same thing last month in Dallas, and called himself an "Emotional Assistant," which I think is a lovely title. On a completely different note, we are delighted to announce our eBook, Emotional Freedom Techniques - EFT - What is it and how does it work? is now available. Please have a look and give us your feedback. We owe a huge THANK YOU to our friend and associate, Fran, who spent countless hours copying and pasting the original text into an "eBook" format. She also designed the look of the book (I just love the way the pages turn); helped with the editing, and the countless changes/corrections I kept giving her. She never complained once... even when we had the FINAL version and I phoned her with, "Just one little thing needs to be fixed." Fran you did a terrific job and we can't Thank You enough! So, we have a busy few months ahead of us with clients, seminars and puppy training. Then it will be time to plant my flowers... it will be very interesting to see how many Ty ends up eating! I might as well enjoy our puppy because he will be a grown-up dog soon enough. No matter how old he gets, he'll always have my favourite nickname, "Little Poopsie," as it suits him. Alex, on the other hand, thinks "Tiger" is much more appropriate, but that's just guy talk! For all of you that have suffered through a horrible winter, weather wise, I hope Spring comes early just for you! Till next month, take care.
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I
believe we can use EFT to help us alleviate daily stresses. I'll give
you an example. Although our house has 3.5 bathrooms, we all seem to
use the master bathroom for baths and showers. Many times, the OTHERS
in the house will leave dirty clothes behind the door. Can you imagine!!!
Well, I am sure you can see how I would get annoyed and want to lecture
on the proper location for dirty clothes. I spent many a shower of my
own rehearsing how I needed to tell the rest of the family to stop doing
this. Of course, nothing I said or threatened changed this, at least
for long.
Great
News... our eBook is now available!
Berit's
Corner
To
make a long story short... I would like to introduce you to Ty. He is
not replacing Lucas, he is a wonderful new addition to our family. Kaylie
is happy again, and so are we. We'll never forget Lucas and he will
always be in our hearts.
Dear
Tide, |
(C) 2005 - Dr. Alexander R. Lees & Associates Inc.