Volume 11, No. 7 August 2004 How to Refinish a Table AND Use EFT Games Designed to Boost Your Self Esteem Tapping Tips Berit’s Corner

How to Refinish a Table AND Use EFT by Dr. Alexander R. Lees Flip the table over on the carpet, remove all the legs to facilitate manhandling it through the door, and reassemble on the deck.  The reasoning behind this strategy is three-fold. 1.  The house is saved from flying dust and various chemical smells. 2.  One gets to work in the open air. 3.  The lazy twosome, lounging in the cool shade of the large fir tree situated in the back yard, instantly come alive and underfoot.  This only occurs during hot summer days when one of the humans finds an outdoor project to attend to.  I think it’s a deep seated jealousy thing.  Now then, as you sand with one hand, continuously throw balls and frisbees for the dogs with the other hand. There are two important insights I feel the need to share with you at this point.  First, be extremely aware of the mind/body communication, and although it is referred to as “cute” when the dogs retrieve the thrown objects, then jump up and place them on the table, discourage this practise firmly.  The wet spots do take a while to dry, and once this behaviour habituates, will leave unseemly marks in the drying stain and varnish, as you begin applying it.

I have purposely left the mind/body communication part until now for a very good reason, it is that important. Throwing the electric sander whilst holding on to the frisbee simply marks one as an amateur, and the resulting hysterical laughter and comments that emanate from the kitchen window not only add insult to injury, but breaks one’s concentration during the tapping process.  Besides, electric sanders with short electrical cords don’t travel anywhere near the distance of frisbees, and even though they unplug at the end of their travel, teeth marks on such a lovely machine are unsightly. "... that project alone should also provide the possibility of taking EFT to a whole new level." Throw more balls and frisbees while the stain and varnish dries.  At some point, and this is something one just learns to intuit through practise, sand off the dog hairs now stuck to the project, and re-varnish.  Muttering obscenities while tapping the EFT spots at this point seems to create a synergistic effect.  The overwhelming desire to strangle both dogs and the commentator hiding within the relative safety of the kitchen dissipates in far fewer rounds than would normally be required. After the replacement coat of varnish feels dry to the touch, and the occasional hapless fly has become permanently embedded, dis-assemble the table once again, and reassemble in the dining area.  Flip the table over on its top to attach the legs, and flip once again so it stands upright.  It is at this point we can test for versatility and flexibility regarding your tapping skills.  I find a positive affirmation works best; simply tap the points again as you say to yourself:          “I choose to see all the carpet marks on my newly finished table as a statement of a bold new look.” Repeating this several times sets the stage for the following:          “Even though I carefully measured the thickness of the metal, and the wood, and then the screws, and even though the screws a re now sticking though the table top, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Once you are sufficiently relaxed so that you can almost believe the protruding screws can serve to anchor plates to the table, you are ready for the next and final step.  Simply cover the table with a tablecloth, and invite a friend over for a glass of wine.  Ensure all parties remain outdoors on the sundeck. This is the time to discuss and contemplate the next home improvement project.  Disregarding the rolling eyes and suppressed female giggles is much easier if one has the foresight to tap before the depression completely sets in.  Dealing with the momentary feeling of rejection is a snap if you deal with the feeling of depression first. Now then, I can hardly wait to try my hand at tiling the bathroom.  That project will involve some plumbing adjustments, and should therefore provide ample opportunity for even more tapping.  One added bonus is that project should also provide the possibility of taking EFT to a whole new level.  I can hardly wait. Games designed to boost your self-esteem Montreal Gazette, reprinted in The Vancouver Sun Researchers from McGill University’s psychology department in Montreal are testing a trio of computer games they say may help people enhance their self-esteem. Two games, Wham! And EyeSpy: The Matrix, have already undergone scientific scrutiny, with findings to be published in the academic publications Psychological Science and the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.  A third game, called Grow Your Chi, is in initial stages of testing.  Psychology professor Mark Baldwin says while playing computer games won’t cure people suffering from clinical depression or other deeply rooted problems requiring psychotherapy, they might be used to train a sunny streak into regular folks who need a pick-me-up.  “For people with low self-esteem, negative thought patterns occur automatically, and often involuntarily,” said Baldwin.  To sample the games, visit www.selfesteemgames.mcgill.ca Tapping Tips by Jose Hernandez I am always thrilled to hear people's success stories with EFT. It is a wonderful feeling to watch a smile come over someone's face after using EFT to reduce a physical discomfort or to address and resolve some emotional issue they have been suffering with... remembering, of course, that face could be your own. This month I would like to again share with you a couple of interesting stories from attendees of Dr. Lees' seminars last May, in Spain, as well as some ideas when using EFT with children or when someone finds it hard to say, "... I deeply and completely accept myself". "The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself com pletely" Carl Jung "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change " Carl Rogers Some of you may have heard that it is possible to perform "distance EFT" i.e., apply EFT to a person when they are not physically present with you. Whilst this may seem strange, impossible or simply unbelievable, there is plenty of anecdotal evidence to support it. Victoria has been using EFT in this way, with her family. Her 19 year old son has been experiencing problems. so Victoria has been tapping on herself, whilst concentrating on her son's problems. Examples of what to tap for might include "anger," "impatience," "being misunderstood," etc. Since these sorts of problems can often exist between two people, the tapping can help both the person doing the tapping and the intended recipient. Give it a go! Like Victoria, you might just be amazed at the results! EFT (and good timing) helped Peter overcome feelings of depression. He was feeling somewhat down recently and while checking e-mail found the June edition of this newsletter had arrived in his in-box. You may recall Alex had written about depression in that issue and how to use EFT with it. Peter followed the very simple procedure and tells me that he felt better after using it and continues to use it as, and when, he feels the need to. A Tapping Tip When tapping on the PR point and using an appropriate setup phrase, you would typically end the phrase with "... I deeply and completely accept myself." There might be times when the person might not be able to repeat this part of the phrase, such as when using it with a child, with someone who has self-acceptance issues, or where language, cultural or personal factors make the phrase difficult to say or comprehend. Victor recently had such a situation and was clever and very creative in changing the phrase to end with "... I'm OK." You could also use "... I'm fine," "...I'm good," etc. While children don't seem to have any trouble saying these simpler phrases, you might find that someone still can't bring him or her-self to even say this, in which case you could always resort to something like, "... I accept that I find it hard to accept myself." Finally, whilst talking to people, I have found that many have learned EFT to either help themselves or to help others. Don't forget that you can do both! If you have been using EFT on yourself, think how you could apply EFT in the same way to others. Similarly, if you are using EFT just for others, it doesn't hurt for the "doctor to get a taste of his own medicine," which in this case would be a good thing! Should you find that EFT is NOT working for you, be that personally or with others... please tell me about it! My experience with EFT has been that if it's not working, it is because I'm not applying it in the way in needs to be for that particular person (or myself)... or maybe I'm not honing in on the problem properly. If this might be happening to you, let me help you improve your EFT skills - I'm only a phone call or an email away! Until next time, Happy Tapping! Berit's Corner When I last wrote, I was off to finish our house renovation work, and I’m pleased to say that most of it is done. Somehow over the past couple of weeks I’ve slowed down. That could be due to the fact we have been experiencing a heat wave. It is very unusual for us to have temperatures in the high 30s (Celsius). We don’t know what to do with ourselves... it’s HOT! So, for a short period of time, we all slowed down and enjoyed. Felt good! Just as we were getting used to all this lovely sunshine... the rains came. Cooled us all off and helped the firemen deal with the over 500 forest fires in our province. And, now it’s almost the end of summer. Soon, we’ll be into all the exciting stuff that happens come September. It’s a time for all of us to “start doing things.” I’ve been involved in helping the sponsors/hosts of our seminars get everything ready for the EFT seminars in September and October. Thank heaven for email. We’ve also discovered a wonderful service on the Net whereby you can phone someone, using your computer, speakers and a microphone... for FREE. Costs nothing to join, and the phone calls cost nothing... nada! We will be recommending people sign up for this marvellous service when they have a phone session with Alex, which will mean they don’t have to pay long distance phone charges anymore. This is one technological advance I think is great! And, speaking of technological advances... we’re going to make our EFT book into an eBook. Fran, our very capable associate, and good friend, is busy learning just how to do that. Once Fran has worked her magic, our eBook will be posted on a newly created website www.EFTBooks.com The owner and creator of the website, Angela Treat Lyon, has become a friend, so I highly recommend you visit her website and have a look at all the EFT offerings. We’re also working on some exciting ideas on how to advance EFT in Spain and the rest of Europe. It’s amazing how many interesting people you can meet through cyberspace, especially if you have a website, and they contact you. I don’t want to put the cart before the horse, so will leave telling you about this new venture we hope to become involved with, in a future newsletter. I always like to have something to look forward to, so I hope you do too. Till next month, take care. Two friends, an Irish lass and a Scottish lass, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the Scottish lass happens to sees her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh, no, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again." The Irish lass looks quizzically at her and says, “You don't like getting flowers?” The Scottish lass says, “I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.”  The Irish lass says, “Don't you have a vase?”

(C) 2004 - Dr. Alexander R. Lees & Associates Inc.