A Case History
from Dr. Lees’ files
"We had
a total of 15 sessions together. During these
hours, we cleared a multitude of issues. Here
is a summary of what we cleared:
- Multiple
issues from childhood, including a life long
fear of rodents.
- Low self
esteem.
- Feelings
of inadequacy - the items on this list had
continued to expand yearly.
- Insomnia,
sleep interrupt.
- Stomach
pains.
- Panic/anxiety
attacks.
- Social
phobia.
- Fear of
driving.
- Fear of
being in a moving vehicle.
- Bathroom
phobia.
- Fear of
being alone.
- Male proximity.
- Neck pain,
throbbing in the head, dizziness, vertigo,
tinnitus.
- Flashbacks
on car accidents.
- Flashbacks
regarding ex-husband, especially the apparent
murder attempt.
I would like
to say not one iota of any of this exists today.”
Many, Many,
Many Severe Issues
by Dr. Alexander
R. Lees
The client seated
in my office was a middle aged, no nonsense
female, and had made it very clear from the
beginning that "We have some serious work
ahead." I now have her permission to write
the story, but because of her position with
a large hospital, we agreed on the pseudonym
"Barb."
Barb is directly
involved in the distribution of literally hundreds
of medications, per day. Each must be measured
out and distributed via a network of administrative
staff and nurses, appearing in the correct room,
at the correct time, and in the correct dosage
for the specific patient. "My nerves are
shot," Barb stated. "I've been
on medical leave for almost three years, and
my boss is starting to phone a lot, which just
makes things worse."
Just to set a
frame of reference for this case, I'll present
a synopsis of Barb's list that she insisted
on reading to me when she first arrived. Fifty-two
minutes of our first session were spent this
way, and Barb had made it clear from the start
that I was to hold all comments until she had
verbalized it all.
- Diagnosed
Agoraphobic eight years ago. Seldom ventured
out of the house, could only do so under strong
medication and never alone.
- Ingested
a list of medications too long to mention
(or pronounce for that matter), including
sleeping pills, and a different SSRI had been
tried every few months to treat severe depression.
- Four car
accidents over the years had taken their toll,
and a diagnosis of whiplash resulted in one
visit per week for chiropractic adjustment.
This had been going on just over five years.
- Ringing in
the right ear (tinnitus).
- A throbbing
sensation that would begin in the right shoulder
blade, travel upwards to include the head,
and then her head would "feel like it
was going to explode." She stated she
would lose consciousness when it became too
severe, and she'd not always make it to
the couch or bed. This would occur two, sometimes
three times, a month.
- TMJ (Temporal
Mandibular Joint Dysfunction). Has had to
wear a dental splint to bed. Over time, she
has replaced two of them.
- Phobic response
to driving. Barb has not driven a car for
years. Even with medication, just being in
a car is described as a torturous event.
- Was forced
into "mother/chief care giver" role
at the age of eight. Responsible for feeding
and caring for younger siblings. Barb was
responsible for cooking dinner for her parents
every Friday and Saturday night. They would
go to the pub about 4:00PM, return and expect
supper about 6:30PM, then return to the pub
until midnight. Barb was expected to remain
awake until then, and was not allowed to lock
the door.
- She had to
visit the basement every hour or so, and place
coal or wood in the furnace. These responsibilities,
and more, continued until age 17. Barb left
home two months after her 17th Birthday.
- After a series
of jobs, mostly as a waitress or cook, in
diners and truck stops, Barb enrolled in college
to study pharmacology.
- Married an
alcoholic at 19, he almost killed her twice,
once in a serious car accident, the second
time he dropped a radio into the water while
she was taking a bath. The radio, fortunately,
unplugged before it hit the water.
- He then began
punching her and the bathroom walls, breaking
his right wrist, and she took advantage of
the moment to escape the house, ran to the
neighbours, and the police were called. Her
husband served eight months of a two-year
sentence. When he got out of prison, he found
her, and was again arrested for assault.
"Where would
you like to start?" I inquired, as Barb
sat down for her second session.
"I don't
really know," she said. "I've
been to see various therapists, over the years,
and nothing has really helped. I did get some
relief when I saw a psychiatrist, but all the
medications are costly, and neither my husband
(second husband) nor I like the side affects."
"Okay,"
I said. "You have presented quite a list
of things you would like some assistance with.
I know this fellow in California..." Barb
bolted forward and interrupted me with, "I
can't go to California! What's so special
about him, anyway?" "Well," I
said, "I call him from time to time, and
one time, he asked me the most interesting question,
'If you could live your life over again,
but were allowed to skip one thing, and only
one thing, what would that be?'"
"All of
it," Barb replied.
"Supposing
you were in a boat and somehow, all of your
life's burdens were right there with you.
Now then, further suppose that if you were to
throw the right one overboard, the boat would
remain afloat, and take you to shore. Now, you
can only throw away one of them, so which is
the heaviest?"
"Life,"
she replied.
Once again, I
was back wishing I'd taken the time to create
a Client School.
Alex: "So,
life was heavy 20 years ago, correct?"
Barb: "You
bet."
Alex: "And
life was too heavy when you were 15." Barb
looked down and nodded. "And at age 5?"
I asked gently.
Barb: "Things
weren't too great. There was a lot of tension;
my parents yelled a lot. But, by the time I
was eight, I had a brother and sister. I had
to look after them. The furnace was in the basement.
I had to go down by myself, and put wood, sometimes
coal, in it. It was scary."
Further questions
revealed Barb had grown up on the Prairies in
a small town. The winters were bitterly cold.
The basement of the old farm house attracted
mice and rats, as well as other 'noises'
she had never identified. She also explained
how she wore a paper bag with eye holes cut
out over head when she went down there to protect
herself. When her parents found one, the spanking
for "being so wasteful" caused her
to hide one under her mattress for future use.
Starting with
the P.R. point, and continually tapping it,
I had Barb repeat: "Even though I was so
scared to go into the basement..." Barb
interrupted with: "It was dark, wet, and
full of cobwebs. I couldn't use a candle
'cause Dad said it was too dangerous."
We continued with: "Even though that dark
and wet basement was full of cobwebs, mice,
rats, noises, and I was scared, I deeply and
completely accept myself."
Barb balked at
this last statement. After some discussion we
changed it to "Even though that dark and
wet basement was full of cobwebs, mice, rats,
noises, and I was scared, I would be fine if
I didn't have to go down there. It sucked,
but I didn't."
"Well, I'm
a little calmer, but overwhelmed by how much
there is to fix," she finally said.
Using the same
format, we tapped the P.R. point with "Even
though I'm overwhelmed with all there is
to fix, and even though I've spent time,
money and effort to do so, then I come to see
this guy 'cause someone said I should, and
all I get is some bearded old dude slapping
the side of my hand..." That broke the
ice, and Barb's colour returned as she laughed
and cried for a few minutes.
"Why did
you start with that one?" Barb asked after
a while. "It was so long ago, and so many
terrible things have happened since." I
said, "Although I don't believe we
have to analyze our childhood in every case,
none the less, when the negative programming
starts so early in life, and we still remember
these things so clearly some 40+ years later,
and as you told me about it, you became so upset,
it is useful to assume it still affects you
now."
"But I was
led to believe we just grow out of it,"
she replied. Now, we had arrived at one of those
pivotal points: We could get lost in a philosophical
debate, or continue helping her to make progress
towards healing emotional scars. I chose the
latter.
Alex: "Quite
often, that's true," I said, pacing
her. "And when we do, that's that.
We move on, we grow, and life is fine. How's
your life?"
Barb: "Okay,
I get your point, partially. But why bother
dealing with what happened so long ago?"
Alex: "Because
some of life's experiences, especially when
we are so young, imprint in such a way that
it's as if a 'filter' was placed
in our brain. Do you know how filters work?"
Barb: "Not
in the way you mean."
Alex: "Okay.
All the available channels are being fed into
a TV set, yet I am only watching channel 5.
All the other channels are being filtered out
by the tuner. Granted, I can manipulate the
tuner, and now I'm watching channel 6. all
the other channels are filtered out. If it wasn't
for the tuner, I wouldn't be watching what
I wanted to see."
After a few seconds
of contemplation, Barb said, "And your
point is?"
I replied, "It's
as if your tuner is stuck on receiving signals
of danger. Everything else is filtered out.
This is called a biased perception filter. The
way of looking at life was set very early. That's
why you want to throw life away; it's too
full of danger."
"How did
you know I was suicidal?" Barb asked with
eyes wide open.
"There's
only one reason that I know of for being that
way," I said quietly. "The emotional
pain has disrupted life so much that after a
while, it seems the only relief available to
stop the pain. You have a lot of emotional pain."
Barb: "So,
now what do we do?"
Alex: "How
about emotional surgery?" (This statement
really resonated for her. Working in a hospital,
Barb could readily identify with "cutting
out the problem.") "Go for it,"
she said.
I preframed what
we would do next by saying: "We both know
that when your parents came home, the dinner
wasn't good enough, the way you handled
your charges wasn't good enough, the way
you handled keeping the house warm wasn't
good enough, and so generally speaking, you
just plain weren't good enough. Based on
all of this, what do you guess we are going
to do now?"
"You are
probably going to tap me for something,"
Barb said. "I'd love to, but I'm
not feeling good enough," I replied. Barb
seemed concerned for a few moments, then she
made a most interesting statement. "You
can tap for that, you know." We both laughed,
and I said, "Why don't you?" With
a little assistance, Barb began tapping her
P.R. point, and as she did so, began with: "Even
though I'm not good enough, and everything
I've done was not good enough, I deeply
and completely accept myself." She then
was assisted with tapping the balance of the
points using the phrase: "Not good enough."
As neither one
of us was completely satisfied with the result,
I introduced Barb to the 9 Gamut procedure.
After its completion, we did a 15 second round
on the regular points using the phrase: "This
remaining not good enough." As the colour
improved in her face, and she became visibly
more relaxed, we did a round using the phrase:
"I choose to be good enough."
(Note: at the
next session, a discussion regarding this revealed
Barb wasn't that comfortable with the phrasing.
I thanked her for the feedback, and we changed
it to "I choose to become good enough more
and more, as each day passes." Turning
it into an 'event' was too big a step.
Creating a 'process' suited Barb much
better.)
"I have
to change my appointment time," was the
essence of the phone call. "My neck is
really out of whack. My head is throbbing and
my balance isn't right." After some
discussion, Barb did a round on "This burning
neck pain," followed with a round using
the reminder phrase, "This throbbing head,"
then a round using the reminder phrase, "This
lack of balance," then "This fear
of falling," and finally, "This fear
of change."
Her husband then
took the phone, and said he'd still like
to bring her to the office, but later in the
day. When Barb arrived (clutching an ice pack
to the right side of her neck) we went over
her activities during the previous few days.
Nothing special seemed to have occurred, until
she mentioned, in passing, that they had guests
for dinner the previous night. At this point
in her narration, her breathing had become very
shallow.
"Okay, let's
slow down time," I said. "You are
sitting, or standing... and began to think about...
your guests are to arrive. I paused for a few
seconds. This gave Barb time to go inside, and
re-live the events before her guests appeared.
"Well, 'George'
and I usually eat in the living room,"
she began haltingly. "We only sit at the
dining room table when we entertain, which isn't
very often." "And, do the symptoms
you experience become worse when you entertain
guests?" Barb thought about this for a
few moments, then offered: "Well, we have
these straight high backed chairs around the
table. When I sat in the kitchen waiting for
my parents, I sat on a straight chair. If I
fell asleep, I'd fall off, and wake up,
which is why I chose it." Barb's left
hand was now clutching her throat, and she had
let go of the ice pack in her right hand.
A little more
investigating revealed Barb really did lock
the door after her parents had left, and had
chosen that chair knowing she'd probably
be awake at midnight. This way, she could unlock
the door when she heard the truck. She also
explained she would be able to "feed the
furnace" before it became too cold in the
house. We tapped on "fear of being alone,"
then did a round on "fear of falling asleep,"
followed by "fear of the furnace going
out," and finally, a deeper fear of "not
doing things right."
I gave George
a diagram showing which points to tap, and wrote
down the reminder phrases I'd used, based
on Barb's comments. The next day, George
phoned to say "It works in your office,
but not at home." We quickly ascertained
he was supplying the word patterns, not Barb.
After clarifying it must be her description,
not his, he later left an enthusiastic message
that they were starting to get results.
The first thing
Barb said when she arrived for her next appointment
was: "My chiropractor wants to know if
you give seminars on this tapping business?
He says my neck (C3, C4, T1) is responding much
better to treatment, and he wants to know if
there is a short form of it he can use in the
office." (Note: I have helped a chiropractor
friend organize a seminar specifically for chiropractors
to use EFT in their practice.)
"Now, I
think I'd like to play with my fear of driving
today," Barb said, somewhat nervously.
"George is missing a lot of work time driving
me to all these specialists, and my friends
are starting to come up with various excuses."
We isolated the worst car accident, and watching
the movie of it on the wall (dissociated) we
tapped the various aspects as they came up.
- Fear of her
first husband's anger
- Fear of the
speed
- Fear his
drinking would cause an accident
- The car sliding
out of control
- The noise
of the tires
- Waking up
to find the car was upside down (disorientation)
- The arrest
of her husband (the police had to subdue him;
there was a lot of yelling and a fight)
- Being alone
for hours in the hospital
- The pain
of physiotherapy
Barb was so tired
after this session, George and I had to assist
her to the car. "Had to get my neighbour
to help get her into the house and onto the
couch," George said on the phone. She slept
all afternoon. I woke her at 4:30 with a cup
of tea. All she said was: 'Get rid of the
chairs' and fell asleep again. What should
I do?" "Let her sleep. Check on her
every hour or so, and hold off on the chairs.
The chairs aren't the problem, but her memories
associated with them are," I advised.
During the next
session we tapped on:
"This dizziness
when I try to drive"
"This fear
of not being able to stop the car"
"This stomach
ache when sitting behind the wheel"
"This sound
of tires sliding" (her words)
"This lack
of control feeling"
For the next
session, I'd borrowed a high back chair.
This definitely brought up some other aspects,
and, true to form, Barb's neck began throbbing.
"I remember that strange place between
being awake, and half asleep. My head would
fall forward and I would snap it back."
As she said this, Barb's head jerked backward,
and with eyebrows up and eyes wide open, she
quickly grabbed the back of her neck as her
jaw dropped open, then I heard the noise of
her teeth coming together.
We quickly tapped
the P.R. point, using the phrase: "Even
though I would fall asleep, and my head would
fall forward, and then I'd bolt upright,
I deeply and completely accept myself. We then
tapped the remaining points (shortcut) using
the phrase: "This falling asleep in the
chair." We talked for a while, then completed
a round using the phrase: "This muscle
memory." This was followed by a round for:
"This fear of falling asleep."
"Barb slept
most of the night using only one sleeping pill,"
said George on the phone. "Usually, she
wakes up with a start every few hours, and takes
another one." We completed the insomnia
during the next session. This included tapping
for: "This fear of falling asleep,"
"Being irresponsible by falling asleep,"
"Not good enough because I fall asleep,"
"Fear of being caught asleep," and
"This sick feeling in my stomach just before
I fall asleep."
Each of these
was a separate round, and done in the order
Barb presented them. To assist her, each time
we completed a round, I asked her "What
comes up for you now?" We wrote down Barb's
'homework,' which was variations of
word patterns to use if and when she awoke during
the night.
"I choose
to fall asleep gently and easily."
"Even though
I am awake, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"This fear
of sleeping."
"I choose
to trust my unconscious, which never sleeps,
to arouse me if there is a real danger."
"I don't
know which one did it, but I wake up about every
third night and tap. I haven't used any
pills," she said, rather pleased with herself,
at our next appointment.
During this session,
Barb hesitatingly explained her husband had
to sit in the bathroom with her while she bathed.
Although he seemed to be okay just sitting there
and reading the paper or a book, if the phone
rang and he left, the rising panic would cause
her to quickly head for the bedroom or living
room, dripping wet and shaking. We devoted the
rest of the session to this issue. We started
with making a movie, watching self go into the
bathroom, begin to prepare the bath, and tapped
for "This anxiety" each time she faltered.
"Oh my goodness. I never realized this
before. I flash on the radio, just above the
water and expecting the shock which never happened.
And, it's so fast, like part of a second."
We immediately tapped using the phrase "This
radio picture in my head." "I'm
still waiting for the shock," she said
after a while.
The next round,
starting with the P.R. point, was "Even
though I'm waiting for the shock, and it
never came because the radio came unplugged,
I deeply and completely accept myself."
The reminder phrase used on the rest of the
points was "This shock that never came."
This round calmed her considerably, and she
went quiet for a while.
"He really
tried to kill me. What a horrible thing to do.
Maybe it was God punishing me for not doing
a good job as a child." Barb is very religious,
and had made that clear when we first met. We
were on very delicate ground here. I decided
to quote "someone else." This way
"someone else" would be the fall guy
if things didn't go well.
"Someone
famous, and very religious, once said, "Isn't
it interesting that when things go bad, it's
God's will, and when things go well, it's
called good luck." As Barb thought about
this for a moment, I suggested a round. Starting
with the P.R. point, I tapped it, using the
phrase, "Even though my ex-husband tried
to kill me, and this is really a statement about
his behaviour and his problem, I'm OK and
he's probably in jail again." After
the third repeat, Barb interjected and said,
"That's right. God accepts things happen,
but doesn't try to kill people in bathtubs.
That's silly." We completed the round
on the remaining points, using the reminder
phrase "This crazy ex-husband, still in
my head."
The next appointment
delivered a real surprise -- Barb had driven
herself. "The old man is back at work,"
she said with a grin, now we can pay you."
We had a total
of 15 sessions together. During these hours
together, we cleared a multitude of issues.
Here is a summary:
Multiple issues
from childhood, including a life long fear of
rodents
- Low self
esteem
- Feelings
of inadequacy - the items on this list had
continued to expand yearly
- Insomnia,
sleep interrupt
- Stomach pains
- Panic/anxiety
attacks
- Social phobia
- Fear of driving
- Fear of being
in a moving vehicle
- Bathroom
phobia
- Fear of being
alone
- Male proximity
- Neck pain,
throbbing in the head, dizziness, vertigo,
tinnitus
- Flashbacks
on car accidents
- Flashbacks
regarding ex-husband, especially the apparent
murder attempt
I would like
to say not one iota of any of this exists today.
However, Barb and George are now quite comfortable
tapping on what George calls "fine tuning,"
and Barb calls "minor incidents."
Both are becoming quite adept at spontaneously
generating word patterns that work, and are
enthusiastically unanimous in saying "This
time and effort was the best investment we have
ever made. The changes are like magic!"
Barb called as
I began to write about this case. With her permission,
I'll conclude this report with her comment:
"I called my mother the other day. I haven't
spoken to her in a few months. She kept asking
if this was really Barb calling. She kept saying
my voice and manner were really different. I
guess it's time to talk to my Doctor about
getting off the meds."
Footnote:
Barb returned to work, part-time. The following
Monday, she became full-time again, and glad
to be productive again, doing what she likes
best, helping to ease other's pain.
-------------------------------------